


Heart, Mind and Soul (No matter where we are)

by obviouslyelementary



Series: Heart, Mind and Soul [1]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: BDSM, Death Threats, Dubious Consent, Escape, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Implied Sexual Content, Love Conquers All, M/M, Minor Character Death, Mirror Universe, Open Ending, Violence, implied BDSM
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-16
Updated: 2018-09-07
Packaged: 2018-09-24 22:19:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 27
Words: 33,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9789533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/obviouslyelementary/pseuds/obviouslyelementary
Summary: "They should follow the orders or the empire. They should be faithful, loyal, to their cause, and only that. Their relationship shouldn't be anything but sexual, a way of letting out steam, a way of coping with their dark pasts.However, they know they can't live without each other. So they run away and defy everything they have ever known to have a chance in living again.And if they die during their journey, at least they will be together."IMPORTANT EDIT: THIS CONTAINS DUBIOUS CONSENT MAKE OUT/IMPLIED SEX BETWEEN KIRK AND ORIGINAL FEMALE/MALE CHARACTERSYou're warned.EDIT TWO: you should check the last tag. ;)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay I don't know where this idea came from, but who cares right? 
> 
> Just a warning to all of you out there, I don't have the ending ready yet, so I don't know if there will be any major deaths yet. Maybe yes, maybe no. 
> 
> Any further warnings will be added as they come. Now enjoy and leave kudos and comments if you feel like it!

“The heart is a muscular organ in humans and other animals, which pumps blood through the blood vessels of the circulatory system. Blood provides the body with oxygen and nutrients, as well as assists in the removal of metabolic wastes. In humans, the heart is located between the lungs, in the middle compartment of the chest.”

 

“Bring in the next” McCoy said, cleaning his knife silently, his back turned to the door of the sickbay. He didn’t even acknowledge the begs and sobs and screams he heard as nurse Chapel brought the next in the line inside his horror chamber. He heard the cuffs being closed and the noises from the woman as she swore she was feeling fine, her nose running from the tears she let out. 

“She is ready, doctor” Chapel said, unaffected, and McCoy smirked slowly, raising his now clean knife and staring at it as it reflected the bright lights of the sickbay.

“Show time”

 

“The mind is a set of cognitive faculties including consciousness, perception, thinking, judgment and memory. The mind is the faculty of a human being’s reasoning and thoughts. It holds the power of imagination, recognition and appreciation, and is responsible for processing feelings and emotions, resulting in attitudes and actions.”

 

“Cadet, this is your second case of insubordination. Therefor, I must apply you to severe reconditioning, captain’s orders” Spock said, looking at his pad as the alien in front of him squirmed in their handcuffs.

“No sir! Have mercy! You know what I’m doing is right! The Empire must be stopped! We are all logical beings! We must find a way into democracy!” the alien said, begging, their four eyes staring right into Spock. “Please sir! You must understand! You are good!”

Spock looked up at them and walked straight forward, clicking in a button on the way, sending a wave of electric shocks through the cadet’s body. He ignored their screams, simply making annotations on his pad. He had much work to do.

 

“In many religious, philosophical, and mythological traditions, the soul is the incorporeal essence of a living being. Depending on the philosophical system, a soul can either be mortal or immortal.”

 

“Please, captain Kirk. We are a pacifist people. We cannot give ourselves to an Empire. We praise democracy” the alien said in the screen in front of him. Kirk stared impatiently at him, rolling his eyes.

“This is your last chance, your majesty. Either you join the Empire, or your planet will be destroyed” he said, coldly, nodding for Chekov to prepare the weaponry. The alien shook their head, begged, but did not accept the offer.

Kirk wondered how much they had lost for science as he watched the planet explode in front of himself through those small screens.

 

“The human body is the entire structure of a human being. It is composed of many different types of cells that together create tissues and subsequently organ systems. They ensure homeostasis and viability of human body.”

 

“Another unsuccessful approach, captain?” Spock asked once he entered his captain’s chambers, putting his pad away and nodding to McCoy, who was sitting by the table close to the captain’s bed. Jim nodded slowly, obviously frustrated, and sat up, brushing his hair back.

“Please sit down, Mister Spock” he said, nodding to the chair next to the doctor, where a glass of brandy was waiting for it’s consumer. Spock did as he was told, taking his glass in hand and taking a sip in almost synchronization with the doctor beside him. “Report. Both of you”

“All crew from sectors B and C already checked out, captain” McCoy started, taking another slow sip of his drink. “Three casualties. Four in induced comma for recovery” 

“Wonderful. They are getting tougher” Kirk admitted, nodding, and then looked at Spock.

“Three in the shocking chambers. Two for usual ranking rising, one for... betrayal to the Empire” he said, slowly, and Kirk raised his eyebrow, curious. “A democrat. Will be dead by tomorrow’s morning”

“Wonderful” Kirk said, honestly content, and then laid down again, closing his eyes. McCoy and Spock looked at each other before looking back at their captain, silently. “Democrats are becoming more frequent lately. I wonder...”

“Yes, Jim?” McCoy asked, and Kirk opened his eyes, staring at the ceiling.

“Maybe the Empire is close to it’s ending” he said, slowly, and sat up, closing his eyes. When he opened them again, they were filled with that usual pain and desire to kill that McCoy and Spock were so used to seeing. 

“That would be a shame, captain. However, I have to agree. The Empire loses more and more systems every day. The democrats grow in weaponry and number. It is just a matter of time now” Spock said, and both McCoy and Kirk look at him.

“Maybe it won’t be so bad after all” McCoy said, shrugging and downing his drink before filing his glass again. Kirk looked down at the bed before standing up and walking to the small machine on his wall. The machine that made him be where he was. The one thing that could kill anyone inside that ship at any moment. 

“An universe where we don’t have to kill” he muttered, it all sounding like a long lost dream. “An universe where this has no function. Where this doesn’t even exists. I can’t believe a place like that could exist”

“But it probably does, captain. The multiple universes theory has been proved correct. There must be a universe where none of this is necessary” Spock said, ad McCoy chuckled, shaking his head in disbelief but saying nothing.

Kirk remained quiet for a while, simply staring through that small screen. It was so easy. So ridiculously easy. He could destroy everything in a second. It wasn’t even fun. What was the fun in killing without watching the life leaving one’s victim’s eyes? Without feeling their breathing stop? Their heart freeze? He closed his eyes, wondering how it felt like. His throat closed for a second or so, making him feel dizzy as he remembered it all, where his lust for blood and death had been born. 

“Please”

It took less than two seconds for him to feel the hands in his throat.

 

“Stage three, doctor” Spock said as he removed the mental meld between him and their captain, moving back to the table where McCoy silently chose the right medications to apply on their blond mess. The doctor nodded, looking up at Spock as the vulcan sat in front of him, still shirtless, his hair messier than ever. McCoy loved that. He loved being the one that saw that side of the vulcan.

“He is getting tougher” McCoy commented, checking the syringe again and putting it down on the table. Spock let out a hum of agreement and both stared at the passed out mess on the bed next to them. The sheets covered the man’s waist down, leaving his back completely uncovered for their own appreciation. The two officers traced the scars on their captain’s back, old and new, the cuts and scratches and bites that were now treated bit still very raw and painful, the bruises that marked the pale body all the way from his neck to his lower back, the red marks of the handcuffs on his wrists. They moved their glances to his face, checking the red mark of a hand on his cheek, the split lip with dried blood, the peace that the fucked up face exhaled. McCoy let out a soft sigh. “I think we are getting soft”

“I agree doctor” Spock said, slowly, and then looked at him and he was stared back, both having a silent conversation. “That is the main problem”

“What do you mean, Mister Spock?” the doctor asked, raising one eyebrow, and Spock took his time before he moved closer to the man.

“What I am about to tell you cannot be said to anyone and anywhere else” he said, firmly, and McCoy nodded, moving closer and staring deep into the vulcan’s eyes.

Their conversation did not last long, but once it was done, neither of them knew how to proceed. They shared a soft, even sweet kiss, and both returned their attention to passed out captain.

 

“I want to see Mister Spock and doctor McCoy in the reunion room in five minutes” Kirk said as he walked out the bridge, receiving a ‘yes captain’ from Sulu right after. He stood in the elevator, taking his time before saying where he needed to go, and waiting silently as he was taken to the observation deck. A three-step walk was what he needed to find Marlena staring at the stars, sitting on a bench, dressed in the beautiful dress he had bought in the martial market. He walked to her slowly, stopping behind the bench and leaning down, pressing his nose against her neck and making her shiver, without moving.

“Captain” she muttered, moving her head to the side and giving him more space. He smirked against her skin, kissing it and biting it hard to mark her again. She hissed softly, but didn’t move away. “Jim...”

“Marlena” he whispered, taking her hand and pulling her up, making her kneel on the bench to be face to face with him. He pressed a chaste kiss to her mouth and held her hands gently. “Come with me”

She did without any complains.

 

“Captain” both McCoy and Spock said as Kirk walked inside the reunion room with Marlena next to him. He nodded to his officers and walked to the chair, sitting down and pulling her to his lap carelessly. Without another word, she spread her legs to sit more comfortably on his lap and started to kiss his neck, pretending the other two officers weren’t there at all. 

“What do you want to talk to me about?” Kirk asked, raising his eyebrow and acting as if she wasn’t even there. Spock and McCoy looked at each other before they approached the reunion table and sat down.

They knew why Kirk was doing that. He wanted them jealous. He wanted them angry. Today, however, the subject was serious.

“Captain. We must betray the Empire” Spock said, firmly, and Kirk’s eyes widened just as Marlene froze. A smirk came up on doctor McCoy’s face as he stared at the two in front of him, the woman pulling away with wide eyes, staring at the captain.

“S-sir I swear I did not hear any of it. S-sir” she whimpered, shakily, her eyes wide and filled with tears and fear. Kirk took a deep sigh and shook his head, holding her wrist and grabbing his knife from his pocket. 

She was dying in less than five seconds, coughing over her own blood as she convulsed next to them on the ground. Kirk cleaned the dagger angrily and put it back into his pocket, staring at his officers angrily.

“You two were crazy to have me doing this” he said, angrily, rage in his eyes, and Spock raised his eyebrow, a fake innocence in his expression, while McCoy just chuckled, content.

“It was her time to go” the doctor said, shrugging. “If not now, soon anyway”

“Now that you have your little obstruction out of the way, tell me what you really want to talk about” Kirk said, angry but accepting, sitting comfortably on his chair. Spock and McCoy stared at each other for a second or two before looking back at him.

“We must betray the Empire”


	2. Chapter 2

“Are you two out of your minds?” Kirk asked, eyes narrowed as he circled the table for the tenth time. “Betray the Empire? How? Why? Why are you two telling me this? Do you wish to die? Want me to be the one to do it?” he asked, a bit desperate, stopping with his back to them.

Now that he thought about it, he knew it would be impossible. Kill one of the two would already be the hardest thing he would ever do. Now the two of them? Why?

“Don’t be ridiculous Jim” Bones said, and Kirk could listen his eyes rolling in his head. “If we wanted to die, we wouldn’t ask you. I would probably make a venom and kill us for you.”

“The doctor is right captain. We have no desire to die. Actually, we desire to live” Spock said, and Kirk turned around, curious, surprised. He stared at his first officer, waiting for the explanation. When none came, he groaned, impatiently. 

“What are you two talking about? I hate when you two do this. Have these mental conversations and tell me nothing of them. You know I hate being left out” he growled, honestly angry, but just stood there, waiting. “Doctor! Spock!”

“I intercepted a message, captain, coming from the Empire to the crew of the Enterprise. It was directed to me, and I was supposed to pass it through in case I didn’t want to do it myself. They want you dead, captain” Spock said, slowly, and Kirk stared at him for the longest time before looking at McCoy, almost like he was asking for a denial. There was none. Kirk sat down slowly, looking down at the table in front of him, before looking up at his officials again.

“Why don’t you do it?” he asked, lightly, almost as if they were asking about giving him a flu medication, and both McCoy and Spock looked at each other before looking at their captain again. 

“It... is pretty obvious, Jim” the doctor said, slowly, a bit hesitantly, but Kirk simply shook his head, raising his eyebrow.

“No, it is not. The Empire and the Vulcan ideologies make it very clear that platonic, sexual or romantic relationships are welcomed as long as they don’t stop one from fulfilling their duties with them. No matter what we have, what this means, you should put the Empire’s needs over mine. I was the one that should find this out and betray the Empire to save my life, not the two of you. You should... put me in a room and kill me” he said, simply, calmly, a bit frustrated. 

Not even he understood what he was feeling at that moment.

“It is not so simple, captain” Spock said, slowly, but before he could go on, Kirk rose his hand and stood up again.

“It is, Mister Spock” he said, and slowly turned around, staring at the wall in front of him. “Your duty is with the Empire, not with me. It shouldn’t be hard. And now that you told me, with have no other option. If you let me leave and I run away, they will know you told me and you two will suffer the consequences. I can’t leave this room with life” he said, and it felt weird to think so logically.

He felt shivers going down his spine. His stomach was turning, his chest was tight. He was scared, and it felt so long since the last time he felt like that. Kirk closed his eyes and took a deep breath before turning around again, staring at his officials.

Both seemed angry, or in a mix of rage and sadness and frustration. He had never seen Spock showing so many emotions at the same moment.

“Yes you can. And you will, Jim” McCoy said, firmly, angrily, staring deep into Kirk’s soul. It was a bit scary, but everything about that doctor was scary. 

“The plan is already done. It will start in three hours, when we reach system omega V” Spock said, standing up and being followed by the doctor, both staring at Kirk as if he hadn’t said anything. “You shall meet with us for an expedition to planet J-870 delta. There, we will start”

The two officers turned to the door, making their way to it before Kirk clicked on a button on the table, locking it in front of the two. They stopped, but did not turn around. They were tense, Kirk could see how they portrayed themselves.

“Why? Why not kill me now and end this once and for all?” he asked, because he needed to know. He needed to know why those two officials, the best in the Empire, couldn’t follow their instructions. It took a moment, but Spock slowly turned around, taking out of his pocket a tape and placing it on the table in front of Kirk before raising his eyebrow and unlocking the door so they could leave.

And Kirk was left alone in that room, with Marlene on the floor, dead, and a tape in front of him.

Nothing about that made any sense. But it would, soon.

 

“We are orbiting J-870 delta, sir” Sulu said to Spock, who nodded and looked at Leonard, who was also on the bridge. 

“I want a team of three guards to beam down with Doctor McCoy, captain Kirk and myself, Lieutenant” he told Uhura, who was quick to make the warning while Leonard and Spock walked to the elevator. “Transporter room”

“Are you sure this will work, Spock? We don’t have many chances” Leonard said when they were alone, and Spock looked at him before giving the smallest but firmer smirk he had ever given. 

“I planned everything carefully, doctor. We have no reason to worry, unless the captain doesn’t agree on it” he said, and then turned his head back forward, making Leonard sigh and look down at his feet. 

Honestly, so many things could go wrong. He had been through the plan more than twenty times, and nothing about it seemed to have any holes, but Spock wasn’t a machine, no matter how many times he denied so. Just the fact that he had made that plan showed clearly that he was no computer. 

He was a vulcan with a partner he wanted to protect. And Leonard could only hope Jim had understood what they meant when Spock gave him that tape. They had no time to explain to Jim any of it for now. They would have to be very far away from the Empire’s zone of influence to actually be able to talk about what it all meant. Leonard himself had been lucky he had time to ask Spock all the questions he had about it.

“Transporter room” the computer warned, and the doors opened to show it, three guards over the transporters and captain Kirk talking to Scotty quietly. Spock and Leonard made their way inside the room and walked to the transporters, waiting for their captain.

“Very well, Mister Scott” Jim said, before making his way to the transporter and nodding. “Energize”

Leonard gave one last look to the ship in front of him before everything became white. He never thought he would be saying that, but suddenly he realized he would miss that starship.

He couldn’t even imagine what Jim would be feeling.

 

The planet was exactly like Spock had predicted. It was radioactive, not enough to harm but enough to confuse their instruments. It had life, but not intelligent just yet, and it was used for mining a few decades prior. The place was completely forgotten, and perfect for an escape.

“Guards, go check the stations in the mines” he said, and the guards did as told before he approached Jim and McCoy. Both were patiently waiting for him, and when he came closer, they gathered in a small circle. “Follow me”

The two nodded and silently walked through the second path in the planet. Technically, it should take them to the abandoned city where the miners lived when it wasn’t their turns to work. They walked the long road in silence, all of them too worried about doing everything correctly, and when they finally arrived the abandoned city, they could finally start the plan. 

The building was just in front of them, and three of them were more focused than they had ever been.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright omg I am keeping so many details from you guys. Sorry hehehe
> 
> Next chapter will explain everything. No worries <3
> 
> Leave KUDOS and comments if you enjoyed it!


	3. Chapter 3

“So... T’hy’la, um?” Kirk asked as they walked all the way up the building through the stairs, the three of them looking for the city’s old computer. From there, they could transmit a message pretending to be another planet or another system while also denying the Enterprise any possible contact with the landing team. It was a win-win situation for what they wanted to do. At Kirk’s comment, both Spock and McCoy looked at him before nodding, together. “I though that had been lost in the Vulcan history before they even came to be with the Empire”

“It is not lost, it just became ancient. The idea itself had never been further studied. Few were the vulcans throughout all history that ended up finding their T’hy’la. It was illogical to pursuit something that was unlikely to be found by any” Spock explained, checking his tricorder one more time. Kirk chuckled, quietly, smirking at his first officer.

“You must be very lucky then, Mister Spock, for having found two” he said, slowly, and Spock looked back at him, raising his eyebrow.

“There is no such thing as luck, captain” he said, and then looked up. “This is the floor”

“Oh, I am so glad. These stairs were killing me” McCoy said, sighing deeply and following Spock inside the room. They arrived at a long and dark hallway, filled with windows and doors. They walked through it slowly, using their phasers’ lanterns. Slowly they made their way to the main room of the hall, getting inside and finding a room big enough to accommodate twenty people comfortably. It wasn’t big but it wasn’t small. 

There was a computer on the wall right in front of them, with a few panels, buttons, machines and pads all over it’s surroundings. There were no lights, no windows, only the lanterns they were using to see their way through. Spock walked right to the main computer, using his tricorder to check the equipment while he made a few notes on it as well. Kirk and McCoy stood behind, checking the rest of the room, trying to find someway of making the lights turn on again.

“So you knew. For how long?” Kirk asked, his voice deep, and McCoy through for a second or two before nodding. 

“A week. A bit more. He had the entire plan ready when he told me” he said, and that visibly relaxed Kirk. He really hated to be left out of things. “We were honestly afraid you wouldn’t come”

“Why? I have no wish to die” Kirk said, looking at Bones, but the doctor simply shook his head.

“I know. But after that entire speech inside the reunion room I honestly thought you would kill yourself as soon as we left” he said, shrugging, and Kirk chuckled softly, rolling his eyes.

“Not right after. I wanted to see what was in that tape” he said, and it was McCoy’s turn to chuckle. “Very intelligent way of making me want to come and stay with the two of you, even though I would have liked more than three hours to think about the subject” 

“More than three hours would give you time to think, and we didn’t want you to think” Bones explained, kneeling down to check under a table and being followed by Kirk. As soon as he did so, Bones grabbed his shirt and pulled him closer, their noses almost touching. Kirk’s eyes widened for a second, before they started to close, only a small gap making him be able to see the doctor in front of him. The lantern light made his eyes shine brighter than ever, and it was terrifyingly beautiful. Bones smirked at the way Kirk stared, almost like he was being hypnotized, and leaned forward, biting the man’s bottom lip and tugging lightly before letting it go and pressing his lips to Kirk’s ear. “You are our toy, remember? We could never find someone so good as you”

Kirk couldn’t be more glad of being let go and left alone at that exact moment, or else he was sure he would have let out a sound that was surely going to cost him more than he was willing to pay. McCoy left him there to help Spock with something when the vulcan called him out, and Kirk slowly turned to the two officers, sitting on the floor, hands shaking. 

He had no idea what that whole T’hy’la, friend, brother, lover thing was about, but he knew that language very well.

He was willing to fight the Empire to have those two on his bed.

 

“Very good Spock” McCoy said, smirking as the computer came to life again. Spock hummed softly, raising his eyebrow and standing up. Behind them, Jim watched attentively as the words appeared in the computer, reading the commands and smiling when the screen became black and green, making a single search bar. Spock then started to make different commands in the panels and soon enough, they were into Starfleet’s documents.

“Now I will fabricate the message that will come from a planet further into the system and add the divergence so they cannot contact anyone in the surface” Spock said, firmly, and both McCoy and Kirk moved back, letting him do his job without troubling the vulcan. 

The two men watched Spock for around half an hour before he pulled back, clearly pleased with himself. The three of them checked their communicators, happy that there was no sign on them and they couldn’t even contact themselves. 

“Good job, Spock” McCoy said, smirking, and he huffed, turning to the other two and nodding quickly.

“Thank you doctor. Now we have three hours to get to the marking on our map, find the abandoned ship and make it work” he said, nodding to the exit, and the other two followed quickly, rushing all the way downstairs again and heading for the east side of the city.

“How are we sure that Sulu will follow the instructions? If they stay and we launch, they will destroy us in seconds” Kirk said, firmly, and McCoy looked at Spock, also worried about the same fact. Obviously that the crew had some idea of what Spock was called to do, and obviously that Mister Sulu would be one of the firsts to know, but that did not mean he knew Spock had no intention to follow the order.

“I made sure that the distress signal is important enough for all of them to follow. Mister Sulu wouldn’t miss a chance of showing his incredible battle skills, specially without his captain on board” Spock said, and Kirk looked at him.

“Battle?! You are making my Enterprise in the hands of that dirty navigator go to a battle?!” he asked, angrily, but Spock simply stared at him. 

“It isn’t a real battle. And even if it was, the Enterprise is no longer yours. We are escaping. You’re never seeing the ship again” he said, coldly, and Kirk stopped on his tracks, making the other two stop right after him.

“Jim...” McCoy tried, but the ex captain just shook his head.

“I... You’re right” he muttered, turning around and looking up at the sky for a moment. He couldn’t see the Enterprise, obviously, but he knew she was still there, somehow. It hurt, now that he was thinking about it. He would never see her again, never listen to her soft sounds, never feel her shake when they were taking too much or her, never breathe her air, sleep in her insides, touch her walls, be a part of her. Like a lost lover, he would never be one without her again.

He took a deep breath and turned around, staring at those two men that were defying everything they had ever known, their lives and everything they had accomplished for him. He couldn’t live without them either. If losing the Enterprise destroyed a piece of him, losing them would destroy his entire body.

Still, a part of him said that he wasn’t worth all the trouble. That they should just kill him and move on with their lives. That they would be better without him. 

But that was surely his past speaking, and he hated his past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaaaaaah okay this chapter begins a bit of their journey.
> 
> And also talked about T'hy'la, which will be talked about further into the story.
> 
> Idk just thinking about the concept of a T'hy'la in a mirror universe makes me want to giggle. It's too much love.
> 
> Anyways, leave KUDOS and comments if you enjoyed it!


	4. Chapter 4

They reached their destination after one hour of fast walking. Luckily for them, the three were in very good shape and weren't even tired when they reached an empty field where Spock's tricorder signalised the ship. 

"Well, I might be wrong, but there doesn't seem to have anything here" Kirk said, frowning softly. McCoy stared at Spock for a second or two before the vulcan walked forward while looking at the ground. Two steps later and he stepped on a button hidden on the ground. As he did so, the device that hid the ship deactivated, showing a ship that was around the size of the main recreation room of the Enterprise. 

It was so small, but it looked great and advanced, so it would have to do. 

"Wow Spock... You really surprised me this time around" McCoy said, raising his eyebrow, and Spock stared at him, a glint of smugness in his eyes. Then, the three turned back to the ship and both McCoy and Kirk stepped behind Spock when the doors opened. It was almost a reflex, hiding behind their vulcan. 

From the door, three figures walked out. Two Vulcans and one Romulan. Kirk made a face but said nothing, while McCoy just stared at them surprised. 

"Democrats. Those are the people that are helping us?" The doctor asked, surprised, as Spock nodded, both giving Kirk a glance as he groaned in disgust. 

"Yes doctor" Spock said simply, before the three approached them and stopped. 

"Mister Spock. Doctor McCoy. Captain Kirk" one of them said, the oldest. He raised his hand in the Vulcan salute and Spock answered it accordingly, followed by McCoy. Kirk did not even pretend he was liking that situation. "Are you three ready to leave?"

"Yes, V'Lan. We are ready" Spock answered, and the three nodded, taking the starfleet officers inside their ship. 

"I don't like this. What did they offer? What is the catch, Spock?" Kirk asked, as quietly as possible, standing behind the Vulcan and the doctor. 

"I would also love to know Spock. This looks too easy" McCoy said, raising his eyebrow, and Spock simply shook his head. 

"This is not the time. You must not worry. I have everything under control" he said, as the six walked inside the vessel. The two Vulcans and Romulan walked to the bridge while Spock directed Kirk and McCoy to a back door that lead to what could be called as the engineering of that small ship. Soon, the ship was taking off, and Kirk was silently watching the planet's surface disappear through the window. 

 

"Where are we going exactly?" Jim asked, firmly, staring at Spock, and the Vulcan checked his tricorder before looking up at the captain. 

"Fourth planet into the seventh system inside the democrat region" Spock said, tilting his head, and Jim made another disgusted face. "I am sorry captain, but they were the only ones that agreed in taking you in"

"Yeah. I guessed" he said, and stood up, walking to the main engines and leaving Leonard and Spock alone for a while. 

"He will never take that well" Leonard said, looking at the blond man, and Spock nodded slowly. 

"No he will not. However, he won't have to for long" he said, looking down at his tricorder again. Leonard raised his eyebrow but didn't press further, knowing Spock would eventually tell him. 

"Well... At least we are protected, right?" He asked, knowing that they weren't, but he had to know how worried he needed to be. Spock stopped what he was doing and looked up at the man. 

"Very unlikely, doctor. The Vulcans are trustworthy, however the romulans and terrans are not, and they are the majority. They will use the captain for any means necessary to stop the Empire. They know they hold the ace, the three of us are really precious to the Empire, especially now. We must be careful. Especially the captain. They will do whatever it takes to win over the empire in this war, and they won't be merciful over us. The know what we did to their planets and fleets."

"So we only have enemies. Great" Leonard said, shaking his head, just as Jim sat down again. 

"Yeah. And not only enemies, but the only enemies we can hardly fight. We are three against two fleets" Jim said, sighing and rubbing his temples. "Why did I even agree with this?"

"Because you don't want to die" Leonard said, but soon shut up with Jim's stare. 

"No. I don't care about dying. There isn't biggest reward than being killed by the empire for your doings. There isn't anything a captain would ask higher than being too threatening for the Empire to let them continue. I should be dead by now. Not here. Not running away" he said, coldly, staring at the table, catching both Leonard and Spock by surprise. 

"But captain... Jim... Why did you accept our offer then?" Spock asked, confused, a bit hurt, slightly angry. "If you hadn't appeared, we wouldn't go on and you would be killed."

"Also, we wouldn't have to be listening to this" Leonard said, clearly done with the conversation. "I can't believe we abandoned everything and betrayed the empire just to hear this absurd."

"That is exactly the reason I said yes" Jim confronted, and the two stared at him. "You two didn't talk to me. You didn't come to me. You betrayed the empire by not killing me. What choice did I have? If we didn't run away, you two would be marked. Obviously that someone else discovered the plan and were waiting for your failure. Obviously that someone was plotting against your back. Not coming with you two was to send both of you to a death sentence straight away, with no means on protecting or saving your skins. The moment you chose to do this plan without consulting me was the moment you two put yourselves in the same fate as my own. And in my weakness... I couldn't you two die for me" he said, softly, looking straight at the table and closing his hands into fists. "This is why I'm here. I would rather be dead long ago"

The silence that hang on the room was thick enough to slice. While Jim seemed to have his eyes glued on the table ahead, Leonard and Spock were having the most difficult minutes of their lives taking in account everything that they had heard. Those types of confessions were very... Unlike the three of them. Usually they were left unsaid, in the lingering of the touches, in the softness of the caresses. Never so openly spoken. Never like that. And it showed how desperate the captain really was. How worried and fragile he felt with the whole situation. And those weak moments were usually when they used their own tactics to distract from the real problem. 

Both Spock and Leonard were waiting nervously, anxiously for the soft 'please' that left their captain's mouth every time he needed reassurance, protection, strength, care. 

But what came was a grunt and soon, the two were alone in the room, with Jim rushing off to wherever in that vessel. 

The officers gave each other a deep, meaningful look, and stood up, parting ways as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay then! This explains why Jim is so reluctant about everything and also opens up a few questions: where are they going? Will they survive? What will the romulans and terrans do?
> 
> Scenes for next chapters everybody!
> 
> Leave kudos and comments if you enjoyed it!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING FOR DUBIOUS CONSENT, VIOLENCE AND HITLER MENTIONS
> 
> I swear its not that bad. I just don't want anyone to feel bad about reading this.

It wasn’t long before someone came to piss him off. Of course that he couldn’t have a single moment of piece and pure thinking without being bothered. Kirk would have killed the Romulan at that instant if the warrior girl hadn’t been helping them with their escape.

Not a welcomed escape, but an escape nevertheless.

“Captain Kirk?” the woman said, softly, approaching him cautiously, just as if she was approaching a wild animal ready to attack. Which was a pretty accurate description of James Tiberius Kirk. He rolled his eyes before turning to her, eyeing her up and down.

“Obviously” he said, rudely, and then looked at her eyes. “What do you want?”

“I’m sorry sir. I was just... I wanted to meet you in flesh” she said, approaching slower than before, without taking her eyes off Kirk’s. “My name is Vellela”

“I don’t care” he spat out, rolling his eyes again. “Just tell me what you want. I am not in the mood for games”

“You shouldn’t treat your saviors like this” she reprehended, and he felt his hands itching, begging to squeeze her pretty neck. He held the need back, knowing that they were still too close to the Enterprise to try anything. 

“Why did you want to meet me in flesh? Do you want to have the honor of killing me?” he asked, smirking, and she just stared at him, almost as passive as Spock. She resembled the Vulcan in many ways, especially on the not hesitant way she came closer.

“No. Romulans are pacifists. We do not wish to kill” she said, but he knew she was lying. He didn’t trust romulans or vulcans or democrats. Not the slightest. “You are a very known figure. It is almost like seeing history itself with my own eyes” she whispered, stopping one step from him. “Are you familiar with Hitler, from Terra’s history?”

“Obviously” he said, again, and she nodded, her eyes shining with more than curiosity. Kirk had seen that look in several women before. Not all of them were so lucky.

“Seeing you in front of me... After having killed so many...” she muttered, and Kirk felt bile on his throat at the comparison. A moment of weakness was all she needed, and as he swallowed thickly, closing his eyes to recover from the sickness in his lungs, she used her romulan strength to hold his wrists and press him against the wall.

She was smaller than him by a few centimeters, but oh so strong. When he saw the web, he was already in the spider’s trap.

“What is this?! Let me go!” he growled, angrily, squirming in her hold and moving his head away as she moved closer, their noses almost touching, her lips curved in an evil smirk.

“The rumors are lies then. You don’t sleep with every pair of legs you see” she said, slowly, spreading his legs with hers to stop him from kicking and holding his wrists even tighter while she moved her head down and licked his neck almost hungrily. He squirmed again, shivering when she blew over the wet line. “How much praise will I receive from my mates if I tell them I took you right here, in this shitty ship, right next to where your partners are staying, trying to save your life?”

“Is this what you want? Sex?” Kirk chuckled, quietly, smirking to himself as he kept his eyes closed. “You think a little sex will do anything? Sweetheart. You’re not even half of what I’ve encountered in my life” he smirked, looking down at her now furious eyes. “You can take me how you want, where you want, at any time you want. All I know is that I will get out satisfied and you will be dead before you could tell anyone”

“The captain is, indeed, correct”

“If you don’t want to die now, step back”

Kirk felt no relief when he saw Bones and Spock behind the woman, clearly looking like they could murder anyone and anything at any moment. The romulan girl, whatever was her name, gave Kirk one last glance before stepping back and giving him a solid, hard kick on the crotch, making him bend forward in pain.

“This is for my home world, slug” she said, spiting on his head with no mercy.

She should’ve just stepped back quicker.

Kirk reached up for her neck with no hesitation, both hands squeezing the dark skin while she squirmed and moved her legs, trying to kick him again while her hands tried to detach his from her neck. He gave her a smirk that could scare any monster and the eyes of a predator before he turned them around and pressed her against the wall while leaning in closer, pressing his lips to her ear.

“You are actually turning me on right now, you whore” he whispered, in his sultry voice, licking the shell of her ear as his hands tightened, making her let out a quiet gasp of desperation.

He watched her face go dark green with the same smirk and same spark, waiting until she had stopped breathing to snap her neck and let her body fall limp on the ground between him and the wall. 

Kirk spat on her, before turning to the door that leaded to the bridge and leaving Spock and Bones to take care of her body.

 

“She deserved it” Leonard said as he checked the body for further marks before slowly pulling a blanket over her body. The silence made him look up to Spock, who was still staring at the door where Jim had left. “What is it Spock? What is troubling you?”

“Leonard. It does not matter if she deserved it or not. To where we are going, Jim cannot express his feelings so freely. In a sense, you are more in control of your own feelings than he is. If he kills every single person for doing something humiliating, we will be dead in less than a week”

“Spock. She was-”

“I know what she was doing, doctor” he said firmly, coldly, and Leonard could feel the coldness in his voice. “I know what it meant, for both of them. I know what it could have leaded on. I know it all. But sometimes we need to give up our own comfort in exchange of firmer and trustful connections” he added, and Leonard stayed silent for a while.

“Then you need to talk to him, Spock. He won’t listen to me” he said, firmly, and Spock gave Leonard a quick nod before looking down at the woman’s covered body.

“He still knows how to kill without a phaser” he said, slowly, and Leonard smirked, nodding. Then, he stood up and sighed.

“I don’t think Jim will cause any more problems for today. What about we do something more interesting than stare at this corpse?” he asked, smirking, and Spock raised an eyebrow, malice going through his eyes.

“Perfect idea, doctor”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, some more Mirror Verse action.
> 
> Jim Kirk is not that much of an asshole okay? He is, but he hates it somehow.
> 
> It's hard to explain.
> 
> Leave KUDOS and comments if you enjoyed it!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is entirely implied porn, just so you know.
> 
> There are some revelations in the ending however.

“Anything you desire, Kirk?” one of the vulcans, the oldest, asked as Kirk walked inside the bridge, looking around quietly and watching the two of them piloting that dreadful ship.

“Nothing” he said, coldly, and silently stared at the screen in front of them, showing their way through the stars. The vulcans worked in silence, more usually than not making notes and checking on the panels. He walked through the room slowly, checking a bit himself, but not touching anything. 

“Something bothers you, Kirk” V’Lan said, turning from his station and raising his eyebrow. “You are welcome to share your thoughts if you so wish”

“Thank you, but I would rather die than say anything to you democrats” he said, angrily, before sitting down in the closest chair he could find. The vulcan simply nodded, patiently, and Kirk held back the need to scream at that expressionless face.

He hated vulcans for that. He hated them.

Not one hour later and there was a sound on the panels warning about an inclosing vessel. Kirk looked up, calmly, watching as the vulcans connected the screen with the other ship. Spock and Bones walked inside just as the face of a smirking vulcan appeared on screen.

Sybok. Spock’s brother. They had met before, once.

“Welcome, Captain Kirk, to my territory” the vulcan said, smiling widely. “I am so glad that you arrived. We were excited to have you here with us”

“Terrific” Kirk said, rolling his eyes in annoyance. Spock stood forward, making the vulcan salute to his brother and then moving his hand down when the vulcan nodded to him.

“Sybok. We feel welcomed in your lands” Spock said politely, and the vulcan laughed deeply at his brother’s lack of sentiment.

“I am glad. We will bring you to the planet where you will be staying for now. Get ready to be beamed up” he said, and turned his communications off. Kirk stood up and walked next to Spock, giving him a glance before feeling his body being caught and taken to Sybok’s ship.

When the five of them materialized, the two vulcans left immediately to their posts while Sybok himself and another one of his crewmembers, a human girl, welcomed Spock, Bones and Kirk.

“I am glad the three of you arrived with no wounds” he said, seeming honestly content. Kirk raised his eyebrow in suspicion, but said nothing. “This is Chila. She is my first officer. She will show you three your quarters” he said, and then nodded. “Then, you are invited for a celebratory dinner in the main party room.”

“Thank you, brother” Spock answered for the three of them, and silently they followed the girl out of the transporter room, walking silently through the hallways of the ship. It was very alike the Enterprise in many ways: the long hallways, the sounds, the people walking from one side to another. But it was nothing like what Kirk called home.

“These are your quarters. We hope you feel comfortable” the girl, that sounded more like a robot, said, before leaving the three of them alone in front of a door. Kirk raised an eyebrow and clicked a button to open it up, the three of them walking inside the room.

It was... nice. It was big enough to keep three beds, one closet and a bathroom. It was enough for the days they would stay in said ship. They didn’t bring anything anyway. All they had was their tricorders, their phasers, their communicators, and the medical kit Bones brought everywhere. 

“I suggest a shower” Bones said, after a few seconds, and both Spock and Kirk nodded, the three of them checking inside the closet. There were a few clothes in there separated by size. None of them were Kirk’s liking, but if they were escaping, he would have to become... ordinary.

They separated their clothes on the bed, grabbed towels and headed to the bathroom. It was big enough to accommodate the three of them together, so they simply stripped, none of them staring at the other. Even the box was big enough to let them clean themselves together, which was a winning situation.

For a second Kirk wondered how a starship could hold so much water, before he remembered that only high officers had showers in their cabins. He smirked at the thought. They still respected him, at least.

Bones turned the water on, controlling the temperature in something that would please the three of them. Spock folded their clothes neatly and left them over the sink, and their boots under the cabinet. Kirk simply watched the two of them in silence, leaning against the wall. 

It wasn’t long before the three of them were inside the box, slightly squeezed but comfortable. Kirk didn’t ask before moving under the spray of water, making his hair and body wet with his back turned to his officers, showing off his scars, most their work of art but some that clearly meant nothing more than won battles.

The sigh that left his mouth was weak, but meaningful, when his lovers attached them to his sides, kissing and biting his neck and shoulder blades. Hands moved up and down, nails scratched, teeth bit, and he felt so perfectly complete right there, in a strange ship, a strange bathroom, running away from the Empire and accepting the democrats.

There was nothing more he could do but close his eyes and moan as he was pressed against the wall, held by firm and harsh hands, used and abused in the way he liked the most.

 

“How much can we trust him, Spock?” Jim asked, leaning against the wall, wearing only the boxers he had found, while Leonard took a small nap on the bed, leaving Spock and he to talk freely. The vulcan took a moment or two to answer, thinking it thoroughly.

“More than we expect, less than we could hope” he said, slowly. “Sybok is not the problem, as you may have noticed in our trip to this vessel. His followers are not so accepting as he is”

“So there will be more people like that romulan?” he asked, slowly, walking to Spock and sitting in front of him, looking at his bare chest without any hesitation. “More people that will want to kill me?”

“Obviously” he responded, tilting his head. “I would advice that you don’t accept any invitations that seem suspicious, but as I know very well how you act, I suppose it is the same to advice a tiger not to eat meat” 

“Don’t be stupid. A tiger would respect you for longer” Jim said, smirking, and Spock raised his eyebrow, humming as Jim moved closer and placed his hands on the vulcan’s thighs. “Maybe I can learn how to control myself if I always have you and Bones around”

“We cannot be always at your side, Jim” Spock replied, watching his captain attentively. He didn’t move at all, however, so the man decided to make the first move, standing from his chair and slowly sitting on the vulcan’s lap.

“Why not? We are going somewhere where patents mean nothing. I can have at least one of you at every moment of the day from now on.” He argued, leaning in and placing slow, wet kisses against Spock’s neck.

“That is not what you are, James” 

Jim pulled back, looking down at his first officer with challenge in his eyes, anger and betrayal on the mix of emotions. He moved to rise, but Spock held his waist and pulled him down again, being the one to bite the man’s neck this time. Jim held himself together, holding the vulcan’s wrists and pushing them down.

“Spock...” he muttered, in a mix of want and anger, rejection and need. Spock dug his nails on the skin on Jim’s sides, making it bleed and Jim melt on his hands, on his lap.

“No matter how much you crave our contact, captain, you will always need more. You are a slut, a whore, and there is no denying. You cannot stay away from the others who want you. Not even an attack would be painful for you, just like you told that romulan woman” he said, softly, against Jim’s neck. “You do not worry about Leonard and I because you know we will get our revenge, and it will be painful and hard, like you need it to be. You need to be punished, captain, and you know it. You need reasons to be punished. You will never stop”

Jim hated it, Spock could feel it. The light contact of their minds showed all the disgust and hatred towards those words. Towards the truth. The shame Jim felt as he had those words said in front of him so blatantly, so honest. 

“Get away from me” Jim muttered before pushing Spock away and rushing to the bathroom.

Spock licked his lips slowly, tasting the blood on his tongue, relaxing against the chair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKay I do love seeing Kirk angry. Its my kink hehehe
> 
> They should go to a party. Let off some steam.
> 
> Anyways, leave KUdos and comments if you enjoyed!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for implied sex, and violence.
> 
> Also, Kirk/Alien, just in case you want to know.

Bones had already woken up when Kirk walked out of the bathroom again, looking ready to leave to the celebratory party. He fixed his new shirt, a white shining cloth that joined up in the middle of his chest and went down very tight against his body, and a pair of white pants, with a golden belt in the middle and black boots.

“Where are you going, looking like that?” Bones asked, from the bed, smirking, and Kirk looked at him, raising an eyebrow.

“To the celebratory dinner. Spock suggested that I should be nicer to our hosts. You two should come” he said, eyes shining maliciously before he walked to the door. “I will not wait for you, gentleman”

He left the room without a second glance, like everything else he did, and walked away through those grey halls in search for the party room. It felt weird, walking so freely in a place like that, filled with people that simply wouldn’t kill him for respect to their captain. How many were the times when he walked by a group of humans or romulans that were loudly discussing his death sentence? Or how many glances he had to ignore as he walked inside lifters, guessing which were meant to kill and which were meant to torture? Only the vulcans in the ship seemed to know their place, never staring directly at him.

However, that wasn’t his place anymore. Whatever patent he once wore was now of no value. Not in that ship, or any Empire zone. He was no a captain anymore, and every time he thought about it, it felt worst being James Kirk.

He arrived the party room quicker than he had expected. The party itself was already starting, with music and lights and drinks and foods. He made his way inside trying to become invisible into the crowd, and soon reached the bar, where he asked for their strongest drink.

Well, at least romulan beer wasn’t illegal in democrats’ territory.

 

“Leonard. We must” Spock said for the tenth time, throwing the shirt Leonard was supposed to wear on his face. The doctor groaned, grumpily, shaking his head.

“I want some rest Spock. I am too old for parties. Besides, do you really think Jim is in such danger? The man can handle himself. He is captain for a reason” Leonard argued, sitting up as his pants were also thrown on his face. “Spock! You are being illogical!”

“I am being completely logical. We must stay always on guard, and the captain will not. He must be already drunk by now, which gives us terrible disadvantage. We must be quick” the vulcan said, fixing his shirt for the third time. Leonard rolled his eyes before slowly standing up and pulling his new clothes on. They were very comfortable, for what they looked like. 

“I’m ready” he said once he had finished putting on his boot, and before he could blink, Spock was already out in the hallway. He groaned, not amused, and rushed after the vulcan, catching him by the turbo lift. “Are you feeling anything? You look anxious Spock. If I didn’t know you better, I would say you are worried”

“You do know me. Better than anyone, doctor” Spock said, firmly, and Leonard swallowed thick, looking forward. So the vulcan was worried. Great reason for him to worry as well.

When they got to the party room, there was no way they could find Jim in the crowd. The place had no empty spaces, and the ones that were had a few couples kissing and probably doing more than they should outside a bedroom. However, if finding Jim would be impossible, finding Sybok was a piece of cake.

“Brother! Doctor! I am content you came, even though I am disappointed that your captain did not” he said, with a light frown that was also followed by Leonard.

“He was coming here around half an hour ago. I find it hard to believe that he isn’t here” Leonard said, slowly, crossing his arms, while Sybok looked around in confusion.

“I am almost certain I did not see him doctor. However, I will ask my first officer if she has seen him with anyone at any time. Excuse me” he said, leaving the two alone and walking to Chila.

“I hate to agree with you, Mister Spock, but I think you are right once again. We should not have left Jim alone” the doctor said, frowning to himself, and all Spock could do was nod slowly, attentive eyes scanning the area.

“Indeed, Leonard”

 

“Shouldn’t you be with your boyfriends?” The alien on his arms asked, making Kirk roll his eyes and press them further against the wall.

“If you don’t wish this, you need only ask” he said, a glint of impatience in his eyes. The alien, with their black eyes and blue cheeks, raised what could be called an eyebrow and then smirked, showing their sharp teeth.

“Like that would make any difference”

“Unlike what people may think, I take no pleasure in submitting people this way” Kirk said, raising his own eyebrow. “Do you wish this or not? You were the one that called me out in the middle of the dance floor”

“Talk dirty to me, Kirk” the alien muttered, and then breathed out a few words in their native tongue. Kirk smirked back and pressed them against the wall, kissing them hard and grinding down to the alien’s crotch area. They let out a breathy moan, and soon the two of them were on the bed in the alien’s quarters, kissing and touching and removing every clothing in the way.

It wasn’t too late when the two were panting on the bed, staring at the ceiling, naked, tired. The alien laid with their back to Kirk, and he hummed before slowly moving to stand up, only to be stopped by a pair of cuffs that connected him to the bed by his wrists and ankles. 

“What is this? I thought our little fun was over” he said, smirking and pulling on the metal cuffs, but the alien just chuckled and slowly turned around again, holding a syringe with a green liquid inside. Kirk’s smirk disappeared for a second before returning. “Sorry dear, but I just trust my doctor to stick things in me”

“Sadly, you are not in control here” the alien said, before applying the liquid in Kirk’s arm and making him hiss at the stinging sensation that it left. “It will take a few minutes to take effect, so I have time to enjoy you a little further”

“What is this?” he growled through his teeth, as the alien crawled on his lap, kissing his neck and sucking a purple mark on his collarbones. “What is this?!”

“You will see soon enough” the alien answered, and Kirk squirmed, irritated, anger dropping from every fiber of his being. The alien didn’t stop, biting down the skin of the captain hard, making a big mark with the sharp teeth and making Kirk groan again, trying to squirm away as they licked every drop of the blood that left the cuts on the skin.

“I will kill you after I’m free” he growled in rage, but the alien chuckled.

“Alright. Do what you want” they said, biting his chest after the blood had ceased leaving the skin. Kirk groaned, closing his eyes to try to focus on how to get out of that place. “You will have a lot to explain to your mates after this”

“We are not mates” he growled, again, doing his best to ignore the pain on his arm, chest and collarbone. The alien’s saliva made the cuts heal faster, but also had a toxin to make it burn in contact with open cuts.

“I am a Ghideru, captain. We can feel the bonds of mates. Yours are looking for you in this exact moment. Sadly, they are too far away. They will never find you before the medicine takes effect. Even if they come in a straight line right here” they said, contently, using their sharp teeth to make straight lines all the way from Kirk’s chest to his lower belly. Then, they came up licking the cuts, making the captain squirm and close his eyes tighter.

Out of nowhere, his arms started burning, almost as if they were on fire. He let out a scream in the surprise, and arched his back, doing all he could to release his arms. The alien stopped and moved away from him, whispering something that he did not understand to someone. Less than a minute later, Kirk heard the door opening and opened his own eyes, only to find his sight blurred.

“What is going on here?! Let me go!” he yelled, doing his best to ignore all the painful sensations through his body. He could see two blurred figures in front of him, nothing more.

“It is time for a few questions, captain Kirk” he heard someone saying, and it wasn’t the alien’s voice. 

The burning moved to his legs as well and he held back a sob that was rising in his throat from the dreadful pain he felt.

All he could think about was that he should have heard Spock and Bones earlier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooooo
> 
> I really don't get tired of making Jim suffering in hands of democrats.
> 
> Sorry not sorry, that will happen more usually than not.
> 
> After all, he just can't hold himself back, the little horny fucker that is James Kirk
> 
> Anyways, leave KUDOS and comments if you guys enjoyed it! 'Till tomorrow!


	8. Chapter 8

“Brother. Doctor. We found him” Sybok said, five hours later, his voice resonating in the communicator in their quarters. Both Leonard and Spock looked up at each other from their beds before rushing out, heading the location set on the communicator. 

The two officers arrived in less then five minutes on the room where they had found the captain, both freezing in the doorway when they checked out the state of the man.

“Who was the dead walking person that did this?!” Leonard asked, walking straight to the bed and pushing every single doctor in his way with no hesitation. Spock sent Sybok a look and the vulcan nodded, telling all his crewmen out of the room. As soon as the four of them were alone, Spock did not hesitate to press his brother against the wall, anger in his eyes, his arm holding the vulcan’s throat.

“Who did this?” he asked in a deep growl, his face centimeters away from his brother’s. Sybok ooked at him scared, trying to capture any kind of air he could.

“I.. Don’t know... We are... Investigating” he said, shakily, breathlessly, and Spock took a second or two to pull away, receiving a glare form the doctor.

“He is telling the truth. How is our captain?” he asked, walking to the bed to sit next to Leonard. He had already undone the cuffs, and was now checking the man’s vitals.

“Alive and out of danger. He will stay unconscious, however, for unknown time. There is a substance in his body that I cannot identify without further inspection, but it was injected in him. Willingly or not, unable to know” he said, looking at Spock. The first officer nodded slowly before moving forward and touching Jim with his fingers to perform a mind meld.

“Unable to identify, doctor. There are too many thoughts in his head. I did force him to wake up sooner, so we can ask what happened” Spock said, before looking at Sybok. “I will be taking him to our quarters now”

“Go ahead” the vulcan said, nodding, and walked out to leave the three alone. Spock started to dress the captain again while Leonard continued making a few tests to see how badly he was injured. After they were done, Spock picked Jim up on his arms, and at the movement, the captain let out a soft moan, reaching out to grab the first officer’s shirt. A childish action to ask for protection.

Spock and Leonard exchanged a look of worry before both of them walked out, Jim secure in Spock’s arms.

 

It took longer than they expected for Jim to wake up. McCoy was asleep and Spock was meditating when both were shaken awake by the movement of the bed. McCoy opened his eyes slowly, rubbing them and looking up to see Jim standing from the bed and heading to the shower. 

“Captain” Spock said, in the darkness, and Jim froze for a second on his way, before continuing without giving any answer. McCoy sighed, sitting on his bed and looking at Spock, who had been looking back at him.

“I don’t know if we should push it” he said, making the first officer raise an eyebrow. 

“You will be the correct choice, Leonard. It is your decision”

McCoy could feel the vulcan had already made his decision for him, however, so he sighed and nodded, standing up slowly and walking to the bathroom, blinking slowly at the bright light as he got inside the small room.

Jim was already in the shower, silent, washing his hair calmly, taking his time. McCoy watched him from outside the box, leaning against the wall, and slowly removed his clothing, making sure to be as quiet as possible. He waited until Jim had his head under water to open the door and enter in the shower, crossing his arms as he waited for the man to open his eyes again.

As he did, the blond jumped a bit, clearly taken off guard.

“I thought you were asleep” Jim said, slowly, reaching out to the soap, but before he could get it, McCoy held his wrist and pulled him closer, making the captain narrow his eyes in anger. “Let me go Bones”

“What happened in that room, Jim?” he asked, firmly, but the man simply pulled his hand away from the hold, crossing his own arms over his chest. “Jim...”

“Nothing that you need to know. I already got rid of it” he said, firmly, angrily, defensively. McCoy raised his eyebrow, and Jim shook his head with a disgusted face. “You are becoming Spock. It’s gross”

“If I have to become Spock to get what I want from you, I will” McCoy said firmly, stepping forward and eyeing Jim up and down. “Tell me what happened”

“Nothing. Happened” Jim repeated, slowly, eyebrows furrowed, eyes angry. “If you will get like this every time I sleep with someone else from now on, we will have to cut this relationship short”

“I am not talking about sex, Jim. I am talking about whatever they injected in you” he said, now just as angry as the captain. The blond man smirked, widely, and tilted his head.

“Right. Like the fact that I sleep with whoever winks at me doesn’t get you and Spock pissed”

“Do not get away from the subject. They injected something in you and I want to know what it was. Right now, James” McCoy said, now getting actually mad, and Jim frowned, staring deep into the doctor’s eyes.

“You are testing my patience, Doctor”

“And you are testing mine, Captain”

McCoy saw the attack coming before Jim even moved. He saw in his eyes that he was very done with the conversation, and there was only one way James Kirk knew how to end an discussion: violence. His arm reached up, hand searching the doctor’s neck, but McCoy was used with his ways now. He lifted his hand, catching Jim’s wrist and using his momentum to turn his arm on his back and press the man against the wall, making him growl deeply.

“Let me go!” the captain yelled, enraged, but McCoy simply pressed his body against the back of Jim’s and leaned forward, whispering right into his ear.

“Tell me what they did to you. I know how to leave you two weeks without your dominant arm. Spill it out, Kirk”

A groan and a sigh later, Jim closed his eyes and started talking.

McCoy listened without any comments.

 

Spock looked up from the pad in his hand when the doctor returned, raising an eyebrow as Leonard sat next to him, dressed only on his boxers, clearly angry.

“Success?” Spock asked curiously, pretending he hadn’t heard Jim’s screams, and Leonard nodded, grabbing the vulcan’s pad.

“Yes. Two people involved. One of them is an alien of the Ghideru race. The other could not be identified. Probably to avoid unnecessary deaths. They knew what we would do. What they injected was a truth serum. Something invented by vulcans, I suppose. They asked fundamental questions about the Empire. The serum provokes pain to those who lie, indulging them to say the truth. Jim did not say the truth to any questions, and passed out from the pain. It is unknown if he revealed anything in his unconscious state, but I find it unlikely. Also, they did nothing more than ask questions. No type of torture was done besides the serum” he said, looking through the crew of the ship, trying to find a Ghideru. Spock nodded slowly, looking up again when he heard Jim coming out, wrapped around a towel, heading to the closet.

After dressing in a comfortable underpants and a robe, he walked to his own bed and laid down, back turned to Spock and Leonard.

The first officer and the doctor spent the rest of the night searching for the alien, while the captain slept besides them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alrighty alrighty.
> 
> Will I be able to finish this fanfic before college starts? Likely not
> 
> Do I have the complete story in my head? No
> 
> I do have several ideas on how these three will get fucked by different people during their trips.
> 
> Also, hurt jim is a weakness.
> 
> Leave KUDOS and comments if you enjoyed, and see you tomorrow!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This contains a little bit of violence between Jim and Bones again, because the two of them can't hold their tongues.
> 
> Also, a small edit in the tags. Carol Marcus will be important in this fanfic for a few chapters. Just to warn possible non shippers.

Morning came, and both Leonard and Spock had come to the conclusion that the alien who attacked their captain was not a crewmember. They were probably in the ship for that propose only, and was probably infiltrated by someone else who wouldn’t lift suspicion. Sybok was out of the picture, because if there was something he kept from the vulcan culture was the fact that he didn’t tell lies. 

However, if he was really investigating, that was something else entirely.

For the moment, the two officers decided that it was best to attend to their captain and make sure he was better before going around making accusations. With Jim back on his feet, he would be able to identify the alien much easier.

So, the two decided to wait, asking Chila for the best breakfast they had onboard. Soon after the food arrived, almost like an alarm clock, Jim woke up, opening his eyes and slowly sitting up on the bed as he smelled around.

“Who the hell still makes eggs and bacon as breakfast?” he asked, looking over at his officials and smirking widely at the plate in front of them. “Well this is pretty interesting. This is a wonderful ship”

“This is a treat. Don’t think you’ll be eating this every day” Leonard warned, giving Jim a suspicious look. “You need to watch those calories. If we want to escape everything, you need to be in your best condition”

“You are the old doctor” Jim teased, before standing up and walking to the table where the two were sitting. “This looks delicious. Are you sure it’s not poisoned? After yesterday, I am not taking any chances”

“Until a new pair of legs show up” Leonard muttered, making both Jim and Spock look at him, the first offended and the second curious.

“Shut up” Jim said, in a mix of an order and a childish complain. He sat down next to them and reached for his plate, humming contently to himself at the contents and slowly putting a bit of scrambled eggs in his mouth together with a piece of bacon. “Delicious”

“Jim. It is not polite to talk while you eat” Spock said, staring at his captain patiently while Leonard reached for his own plate. Jim shrugged lightly, eating almost as if he didn’t eat for days straight.

Spock and Leonard shared a curious look. That was something they never understood about their captain: the way he always ate as if he hadn’t eaten for days. Officials in the fleet had been trained to endure as long as their species could handle without food. That was one of the very few attributes of an official that James Kirk seemed to fail often, for reasons unknown to his officers.

They surely wouldn’t ever question it unless it became unbearable, but still caused several discussions between the two of them more usually than not.

“Are you sure you are not going to eat anything, Spock?” Leonard asked lightly, looking at the science officer, who simply shook his head.

“I might later, but not right now” he said politely, before he stood. The two humans looked up at him curious, and he raised an eyebrow. “I need to have a word with Sybok. I shall be back before lunch time”

The two watched him leave the room in silence, stopping their eating completely for those mere seconds.

Spock took his way to the bridge of the ship, knowing he would find his brother there. As he arrived, he was greeted by the vulcan with a smile, and was taken to the captain’s chair, to stand next to Sybok as they talked.

“Did our guests enjoy their room?” Sybok asked, curious, excited, and Spock held back his need to roll his eyes at the vulcan’s exaggerated need to show emotions.

“The room was sufficient. I am not here to talk about trivialities, brother. Have you found the alien that injured my captain?” he asked formally, and Sybok’s enthusiasm seemed to lower a bit as he looked forward.

“Well... we weren’t able to find them in the archives of the ship, but we still are investigating. Perhaps if your captain gave us some physical details we could find them sooner” he said, slowly, and Spock nodded.

“Perhaps he can” he said, before looking at the screen in front of them. “The trip is going fine, I presume. We must arrive in our destination in the programmed time”

“Well, technically yes” Sybok said, and Spock looked at him, raising his eyebrow. “Maybe we will have to... Move away from our current course for a while. I received a message this morning that your ship, the Enterprise, was assigned to hunt the three of you down, even if it means entering the democrat zone. Also, it is very likely that they have already discovered our course. We have traitors everywhere, so we can’t risk it”

“If we are the problem, leave us in a planet where we can find a ship and we won’t bother you any longer” Spock said, firmly, and Sybok looked at him before sighing and nodding slowly.

“Fine... I will leave you three in the closest romulan colony. I cannot take you any further without being caught. The Enterprise is the best vessel in the entire Empire fleet” he said, and Spock nodded slowly, thinking everything through. “However, for your own safety, I cannot stay with you in said romulan colony. You three will have to handle your stay, and find a way of getting a ship.”

“You do not need to worry about what we shall do in the planet. Take us there and distract the Enterprise” he said, firmly, before turning his back to his brother and leaving the bridge without further comments.

It was time to make a whole new plan, with Jim’s and Leonard’s help this time.

 

“Are you feeling any better?” McCoy asked as Spock left the room, and Jim looked at him slowly before returning to the food on his plate.

“Did I ever say I felt bad at all?” he asked, coldly, and the doctor sighed, shaking his head in defeat and annoyance.

“I don’t even know why Spock and I risk everything for a man like you. Sometimes I just wish I hadn’t enlisted in Starfleet in the first place. I would probably live in a farm, taking care of animals and pretending that the Empire was nothing more than a secure state. But no. I enlisted, got assigned to the best ship in the fleet, made a career, only to throw it all away for a piece of shit like you that cares about nothing more than being a weapon to a state of death and disease. I don’t deserve this, Spock doesn’t deserve this, and for sure you deserve everything you ever got”

Instead of a salty comeback or an angry comment, McCoy was met with deep silence. He looked up from his plate to find Jim simply staring at him, a glare that held much but was clouded with a deep, burning rage.

Well then. Maybe he had finally hit the point he wanted to hit. Only in the wrong moment of their lives.

“And I wondered why your daughter was ashamed to be yours” 

McCoy saw red before he even reacted, but once he was able to see through his anger again, he was pining Jim on the ground, the blond under him with his stomach to the ground, and he was holding his arm up just like he had the previous night, in the verge of dislocating his shoulder while Jim groaned in pain under him, squirming and growling in rage.

“Never. Talk about Joanna” the doctor whispered against Jim’s ear, grabbing his hair with his free hand and lifting his head by tugging on it. “I won’t be so nice if you commit this mistake once again, boy. You may be a captain, but I am a doctor. I can destroy you without killing you, and you know that” he said before letting go from Jim and standing up quickly. 

He fixed his clothes, looking to the door as Spock opened it, while Jim still slowly stood up, his arm probably hurting and uncomfortable.

“I have news” Spock said, calling the attention of the two of them. “And it requires a new plan”

Well, that couldn’t be good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yep, a little more of feelings in this. I don't get tired of making Jim and Bones fight. I also don't get tired of making Spock confused about his human partners and their need to physically injury the other.
> 
> Anyways, leave KUDOS and comments if you enjoyed, and until tomorrow!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for those who don't like it: implied sex scenes between Jim and Carol.
> 
> This will probably last four to five chapters, but it will never involve anything explicit so don't worry.
> 
> I don't even think they will ever kiss but anyway.
> 
> Have fun!

“I honestly thought we would have at least a few days of advantage before the Empire came after us. They were being serious when they said they wanted me dead” Kirk said, sighing softly as the three of them sat on the small table in their quarters. Bones and Spock nodded slowly, staring at him. “Well then. When are we arriving in this romulan colony?”

“In approximately five hours, captain” Spock said, before looking over at the small computer next to them. “Maybe a bit less”

“So we are going right into a trap with nothing to defend ourselves. Great. Wonderful” Bones complained, rolling his eyes. “How are we going to convince a world of romulans that we come ‘in peace’ and get one of their vessels? Seems pretty impossible to me”

“Nothing is impossible Bones. You just need to... Give up a bit of your ego and let go from your comfort” Kirk said, looking up at them, plotting a plan inside his head. “I know what we are going to do”

“I don’t like the way your eyes are shining, kid” Bones said, furrowing his eyebrows, and Spock agreed with the doctor, suspicious.

“Captain. Jim. After the two attacks you suffered in the last day, I am not inclined to follow whatever plan you have” he said, and Kirk raised his eyebrow at them, before smirking.

“If I didn’t know the two of you so well, I would say you are worried about me” he said, chuckling, and both Bones and Spock seemed frustrated.

“We are, you stupid asshole” Bones complained, sighing deeply. “We are worried. You are the only reason we are here and you keep putting yourself in danger for nothing at all.”

Kirk was speechless for a second or two, staring at them without recognizing the officers in front of him. Then he shook his head and stood up, ignoring the pain that squeezed his chest in a way he hadn’t felt in a long time and that meant nothing but more pain.

“It doesn’t matter what you think. I have a plan and you will follow it. I am your captain after all” he said, holding the back of the chair while he stared at the table. He took a deep breath and looked up again, meeting his officers’ eyes. “Is that clear?”

A moment of silence, heavier than the gravity of Jupiter. 

“Yes, captain”

 

Never in the entirety of his Starfleet career, never in any moment of their five year mission aboard the Enterprise, never in those dreadful year where his life came apart back on Earth, never Leonard McCoy had felt more tired than the moment when James Kirk left the room after saying he had a crazy plan and he expected them to follow it.

He was glad that as soon as Jim left, Spock did as well, giving him a quick vulcan kiss that meant much more than just a small comfort. He needed to be alone, to focus in what was happening, to take a break and close his eyes and breathe. He was too old for that. His heart couldn’t handle something like what they were doing. Running away from a monster by entering the mouth of another monster just as big and hostile. 

Spock was probably a bit better, with his logical being making every decision easier, and Jim was clearly having the time of his life putting it in danger at every second he walked alone somewhere. But McCoy? He felt like he had been dead and was reborn after a hundred years. He needed rest, but real rest, not a night of sleep. He needed to be able to sleep without thinking about being killed in the middle of the night, without thinking about Spock being betrayed by his brother or Jim taken by some democrat that wanted to end the Empire.

He needed every part of himself safe, and every second that passed they seemed to drift apart further. Not even two days into that crazy trip to nowhere and Jim was already going crazy, had been threatened twice, hurt beyond the human ability to stay awake, and Spock was also clearly losing his logicality to the anger that filled his green veins every time something happened to their captain.

They needed to find somewhere safe soon. Before the Empire arrived, before the romulans could make a plan, before everything went downhill. McCoy knew they had time before something happened, but he didn’t know how much time it was. It could be a month, a year, three days. It was impossible to be sure. 

McCoy sighed and stood up, deciding to go to the cantina and see if he could grab a romulan beer to cold his head. He walked out of the room slowly, looking to both hallways before following the one of the right, deciding to take the longer way down. Maybe he needed a walk, a way of letting out steam in a ship that he couldn’t simply have his fun with the crewmembers.

Unless he could find that damn Ghideru, that was.

And as he turned to the next hallway, he froze in his tracks, eyes widening.

A wide and evil smirk curled up on his face and he reached for a tranquilizer shot in his medical quit, feeling his entire body filling up with adrenaline.

That was his lucky day.

 

It took him a while, but soon enough Kirk found what he wanted. He smirked, checking the room number and the section before walking slowly through the hallways of the ship, winking to every romulan or human or alien that sent him a side look. Slowly, he walked all the way to section three, where the passengers of the ship slept, and stopped in front of the right room, gently knocking.

“Who is it?” the female voice said through the computer, and Kirk hummed before clicking the panel next to the door.

“An old friend” he said, and it took less than three seconds for the door to open. He walked inside slowly, looking around at the decorations and smiling to himself before his attention was called by the sound of someone cleaning their throat. He looked up to the bathroom, finding the woman leaning against the door, wrapped in a towel, body wet from the shower she had just finished.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, coldly, her blue eyes showing more than just the anger she portrayed. Kirk smirked slowly, tilting his head, and giving a few steps forward.

“I need a favor from you” he said, slowly, and she raised her eyebrows, staring at him in surprise.

“After everything you have done to me, you have the audacity to come here and ask me for favors? Please Kirk. You make me laugh” she said, smirking and walking to her bed, where she unwrapped the towel and started to dry herself, letting him watch. She was teasing him, he knew.

“You weren’t called for this mission. You volunteered. And if you did, it meant you wanted to see me. There isn’t any other reason for you to be here at all. So, I am here to make a deal. You do me a favor, as I asked, and I will do whatever you want in return” he said, leaning against the wall and watching her as she stopped drying her leg. She slowly straightened up again, turning around without covering anything and letting her entire body to his view.

“Anything?” she asked, raising an eyebrow, and he nodded, smirking widely.

“Anything. As long as you do me that favor”

“And what favor is it?”

“I need you to come with us to this romulan planet and get us a ship” he said, tilting his head. “Not very hard for someone like you”

“Indeed” she agreed, before raising her eyebrow. “I will help you, but you have to do what I say until I tell you you’re free. Starting now”

“Oh Carol, I couldn’t ask anything better” he said, and Carol Marcus smirked, pleased.

His plan had started perfectly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO FINALLY JIM AND BONES CUT OFF SOME SLACK HUN?
> 
> A bit of Bones feelings, and spoiler alert: Next chapter will be filled with Spock.
> 
> It's an special chapter for our vulcan sweetheart that hasn't been able to think a lot about the whole situation, the darling.
> 
> Leave KUDOS and comments if you enjoyed and see ya tomorrow!


	11. Chapter 11

Spock sensed the environment around his captain and the doctor when he entered the room, so as soon as he was finished talking about the news, he decided to leave, letting his lovers alone to relax and do what they needed to calm their nerves.

It was clear to him that both of his human partners were extremely nervous and anxious about everything that was happening, and each one was treating their extreme emotional states in different ways. 

However, it did not matter how they tried to end their problems, Spock could still feel them, even if they weren’t together. The connection he had developed with them was deeper than he had ever imagined possible, and he had only realized it once they were alone in this escape. No matter where he was, at any time of the day, he could feel the way both Jim and Leonard were trying to conceal their fears to themselves.

It was illogical to suppress a feeling like fear in such a situation, especially when it came to a human, but he knew they did not do it because they wanted to, but because they had been trained to do it. The best captain and doctor in the fleet did not rise to their posts by being afraid of deadly situations. 

Yet, every time he could feel something changing in their normal behavior, he wished there was a way he could calm his lovers without being explicit about what he was doing. So he simply ignored such thoughts, and focused on the plan, the only thing he could do in the situation ahead.

They needed a perfect plan for a slight chance of escape. 

Spock walked to the computer room after leaving their quarters, sitting on a chair and picking up several tapes to make new calculations, make up new plans based in information he hadn’t found relevant before. However, before his mind could register it, he was reaching for a tape about vulcan history, listening to the recordings about T’hy’la, the vulcan equivalent to a soulmate. He stared ahead as he heard the information being presented to him, not more curious than worried about said information.

“Computer. How many were the cases of a vulcan finding their T’hy’la throughout the entire vulcan history?”

“Computing. During the vulcan history, only 3% of the population was able to find their T’hy’la, and 10% of this percentage were able to marry and live a fulfilling life with them”

“What is the probability of a half human half vulcan have a T’hy’la?”

“Computing. 100% chance”

“How common is it to have more than one T’hy’la?”

“Computing. 7,5% vulcans had more than one T’hy’la in their lives”

“What happens if they die and the vulcan remains alive?”

“Computing. In 90% of the cases, the vulcans that have fully bonded with their T’hy’la end up dead days after their T’hy’la died”

“What happens to a non vulcan T’hy’la when their vulcan counterpart dies?”

“Computing. No data on the subject”

Spock let out a quiet sigh and nodded to himself, staying quiet for a few minutes, letting the information sink in. Then, he looked back at the computer, deciding to make one last question about the subject.

“Computing. The denial from a bonded T’hy’la can bring their partner to severe sickness and possible death”

Spock let another sigh and removed the tape, deciding to focus back on his plan. For some unknown reason, his mind was calm, so it was the best moment to study new strategies and a bit of romulan culture.

He spent hours in the computer room, studying, before he decided to head back to their quarters and eat lunch with Leonard and Jim. Slowly, he made his way back through the same hallways he had come, only to find Jim walking back as well, a pleased smirk on his face.

“Mister Spock. Ready for lunch?” the captain asked, and Spock ignored the anger and jealousy that invaded him as he saw several bruises on his captain’s neck. He nodded shortly, deciding not to comment on it, and following the captain in silence back to their quarters.

Once they arrived, they opened the door, only to find something they hadn’t imagined to find at that time of the day. 

Leonard turned from the bed when the door opened, and smiled lightly at his partners, leaving his bloody hands away from his body. On his bed laid the Ghideru alien they had been searching, clearly awake from the wide eyes, squirming and crying and whimpering against the cloth on their mouth, while their hands and feet were tied to the bed, their arms and legs cut with the skin removed to show the muscles under it.

“Hello darlings” Leonard said, smiling wider at their surprised face before turning to the alien on his bed. “I found them. Isn’t it amazing?”

Spock and Jim exchanged glances before the captain moved closer to the bed, giving Leonard a quick but heated kiss, smirking to him.

“You surely know how to excite me for lunch, Bones”

Spock rolled his eyes in the background before going to the communicator to ask for food while he heard the whimpers and muffled screams behind his back.

Sex and torture. That was why his mind was so calm earlier. 

A pleased hum left his mouth as he heard another muffled scream coming from the bed behind him. At least Jim and Leonard would be able to have fun for the rest of the afternoon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter about Spock and what he's feeling. Also, a little more about T'hy'la in this universe.
> 
> Leave KUDOS and comments if you enjoyed and see you tomorrow!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a little bit of vulcan here, and if someone can help me with a better translator, I would be pleased.
> 
> Now have fun reading!

An hour later and they were called to the bridge. Knowing they were being called to leave the ship, the three of them left the dead body of the alien on the doctor’s bed and headed to the bridge without worrying about it, obviously after taking a nice bath and changing to clean clothes.

Upon their arrival, Sybok stood from the captain’s chair and smiled to them, a bit upset but clearly relieved.

“We arrived just in time. Welcome to Romulus VI. I will be taking the three of you down to the planet, accompanied by a crewmember that will stay with you on the surface to help find you a ship” he said, making both Bones and Spock raise their eyebrows in suspicion, while Kirk smirked widely.

Well then.

“They will meet us in the transporter room, I presume?” Kirk asked, and Sybok nodded, walking with them to the turbo lift, the two officers as quiet as stones. In less than five minutes they arrived the transporter room, where Carol waited for them, very well dressed, hair in perfect place, very different from the last night. Kirk hummed, walking to her and taking her hand before kissing her knuckles.

“Enough with this demonstrations of gentleness, Kirk” she said, pretending to be disgusted and annoyed. He could see through her eyes, however. She was enjoying this as much as he would later on.

“Sybok, I am sure we have no need to be accompanied” Spock said, firmly, from behind Kirk, and he didn’t even need to look to know that both him and Bones were staring at her with jealousy and rage. Sybok however simply shook his head.

“I know, my brother. However, Carol Marcus was being directed to this planet and she needs to stop. We just thought that she might be able to help. After all, she separated from the Empire long ago. No one will doubt her intentions” he said, and Carol hummed in agreement, while Kirk moved back again.

“Also, we could use someone as pretty as you” he said, shamelessly flirting with her and making the woman roll her eyes.

“Kirk. Put yourself on your place” she said, walking over to the beaming platform and being followed by the three Empire fugitives. Before stopping, however, Kirk leaned in.

“Or maybe you should put you on yours, doctor” he whispered against her ear and smirked before walking to the platform without giving a single glance to Spock or Bones.

They would have their revenge later.

“Energize” Sybok said before they blacked out in that very weird and uncomfortable way they did when they were beamed. 

Soon, they were face to face with a group of romulan guards that had been warned of the party who would be left in the planet.

“Wonderful” Bones muttered next to him before they were cuffed without any questions asked, even Carol.

Maybe it would take a little longer for them to just move on with their plan.

 

“Calm yourself, doctor” Spock said for the tenth time in less than twenty minutes, patiently watching Leonard pacing from one side of the cell to the other. He stopped at that, sending Spock an angry look.

“Mister Spock. You should let him do this. I understand his concern” Marcus said, sitting on the other end of the cell, calling their attention and making both stare at her. Spock raised an eyebrow while Leonard furrowed his eyebrows.

“You understand nothing, you filthy whore” he growled deeply, clearly holding himself back from attacking the woman right there and then. She looked surprised at him but said nothing. “You shouldn’t even be here in the first place. You shouldn’t have been inside that ship. You were never supposed to come into our lives ever again”

She continued with her surprised face for a while before a smirk curled up on her face, and her eyes shone with malice.

“He didn’t tell you” she said, seeming surprised and pleased, before letting out a loud and malicious laugh. Leonard and Spock looked at each other before they looked back at her, confused and angry, with the doctor clearing showing more than the vulcan.

“He who? Tell us what? Fill us in, sweetheart” Leonard said, sarcastically, and she nodded, humming contently.

“James called me here”

The silence that followed the statement was worst than the silence of deep space.

“What?” Leonard said, quietly, breathless and mad. He curled his hands into fists, digging his nails on the skin to stop himself from doing anything, while Spock simply stared at Marcus, confused and just as angry as the doctor. He just controlled it better. She smirked a bit wider and giggled softly.

“James came to my room this morning and made a proposition. He would do whatever I wanted as long as I helped the three of you to find a ship” she said, leaning back and checking her nails. “And I mean, he was being serious with the word ‘whatever’ because this morning was fantastic”

“Shut up. If you want to live one more minute you better shut up right now” Leonard said, rage dropping from every word that left his mouth. Marcus looked at him before shrugging and keeping quiet, but her eyes had a spark of malice and happiness that was impossible not to see.

“Leonard. To ri worry. Etek bolau stay hayal heh thakaya fi’ wuh dotor ahead.”* Spock said, lightly, knowing that the doctor had learned enough vulcan to understand what he meant. He seemed to take a deep breath before walking closer to Spock, sitting next to him and taking his hand on his own. 

Spock had already realized that the doctor used his hands to calm himself down when he was in stress, so he blocked any sensation the best he could while Leonard traced the lines of his hands and fingers. Differently from the captain, the doctor knew and respected the sensitiveness of the vulcan hand touch.

Not long after that that discussion, their attention was called by the sound of steps coming closer to their cell. The three looked up, watching as two guards brought a very bruised and very angry Jim and threw him inside the cell.

“Our leader decided that your motives are not bad. You will stay one more night in here and tomorrow we will release you” one of the guards said, making Jim growl and stand up as quickly as he could, clearly with difficulty. The three others rushed to him as soon as he was thrown inside, putting him up by his arms as he tried to stand.

“That was not what your leader said!” he yelled to the guards, who just chuckled at him.

“Well, you didn’t cooperate either. This is your punishment” the guard said again, making Jim stare in surprise and rage at the romulan.

“I was beaten, whipped, shocked and tortured and this, this is my punishment?!” he asked, in rage, pushing the other three away and walking to the door of the cell that was already closed. “Oh I only wish I could kill you right now”

“Don’t say things like that Kirk. It may give us more reason to keep you more days inside” he said, smirking, before nodding to the second guard. “Lets go”

The four of them watched the guards leaving in silence, and only when they were gone Jim let himself be weak, falling to his knees and taking a deep and shaking breath.

“I hate the democrats” he whispered, angrily, and Spock, Leonard and Marcus looked at each other before walking to the captain.

Those were going to be long days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Do not worry. We must stay calm and focus on the plan ahead.
> 
> Soooooooooo
> 
> I need to give Jim a break. Seriously. No one can handle so many torture sections with little to no implications.
> 
> Don't worry. This is probably the last time he will be hurt like this. ;)
> 
> Leave KUDOS and comments if you liked it and see you tomorrow!
> 
> PS: I can't wait to post chapter 14 omg


	13. Chapter 13

“How can someone even endure so much pain and not pass out of anything?” Marcus asked, surprised, as she watched Jim sleep on the cell’s bed after a shot of tranquilizer from McCoy. The doctor and Spock looked at each other, the first letting out a soft chuckle.

“For someone that spent so much time next to a captain, you know nothing, do you?” McCoy asked, raising an eyebrow, and Marcus stared back, confused. “You have no idea how the Empire trains their captains, do you?”

“I do know they are cruel but I have no idea what they actually do” she said, slowly, and Spock nodded, looking back to the asleep captain.

“It is a complicated process. Together with the ability of surviving in the worst conditions, there is also a brainwashing program that makes the captains from the fleet to become mere weapons to the Empire. They are taught to respect every single order from the empire with no hesitation. Also, they keep track of possible future captains. Being the son of George Kirk made our captain a target of the empire since he was born.” Spock explained, clearly making Marcus even more curious.

“Obviously. But what does the empire do to keep them on track? I mean, someone as powerful as Jim could easily lead a group against the Empire and take it to himself” she said, curiously, and Spock turned his glance to her.

“It is obvious, doctor Marcus. The Empire tortures their captains physically, mentally or emotionally, depending on the answer to each torture. Slowly, they mold their captains the way they want, and each one of them is sent to different missions, to give their best in their category.”

“But mister Spock, what do they do? What kinds of torture can make someone so strong in all those aspects?” she pressed, and Spock held back a sigh, before nodding to show he would continue.

“They put their captains in different tests. Surviving in a cold planet, surviving in a desert planet, surviving against enemies while in minor number, and they do not hesitate in killing those who fail said tests. They are also tortured in several different ways to insure that no captain will ever reveal secrets from the Empire to anyone, no matter what they are put through. While most of the tests are physical, there are vulcans specialized on mental tests, that train the captains to keep their walls up in case a creature uses telepathy to discover more about the empire. But the tortures that usually work better in new captains is the emotional one, where they gather the captain’s families and loved ones and kill them to provoke emotional responses from their captains, and also to make them become emotionless when it comes to kill innocents. Some tests even make the captains themselves kill their families. Only a few were able to pass that test, one of them being our captain, who killed his brother, his nephew and his sister-in-law as his last academy test”

Both Marcus and Leonard were staring at him slightly surprised, pitiful and worried. He held back from rolling his eyes at how sensitive humans were.

“That is... disgusting” Marcus muttered, looking back at the sleeping man in front of her. “How... How don’t they rebel? Why? They have every single reason to get away from the empire. To destroy it. I don’t understand”

“There are several aspects of our captain that none of us will ever understand” Spock assured, before she sighed in frustration and nodded.

“Alright. Well, since we have nothing more to do, I will rest a bit. Have fun watching your captain” she said, softly, before walking back to her side of the cell. Spock and Leonard watched her go before turning their attention back to their captain.

“Can you heal his wounds?” Spock asked, and Leonard nodded, taking his medical kit before slowly taking out a healing machine that made the cells reproduce faster. Slowly, he started to heal their captain’s cuts and bruises, being as careful as they could be, ignoring Marcus completely.

They just hoped they could get rid of her quickly.

 

“He is taking too long to wake up, isn’t he?” Marcus asked after around three hours, having been awake for ten minutes. Both McCoy and Spock looked at Jim, who was laid down on the bed, sleeping, his wounds now healed.

“Well, this is the third attack in less than two days. He is human” McCoy said, lightly, checking his vitals again and then sighing. “Every time he passes out like this, it takes long for him to wake up. He needs time to recover. I healed his wounds but his body is tired”

“I see” she muttered, slowly moving closer and reaching out to touch his hair. However, before she could, Spock held her wrist, giving her a look.

“Do not touch him”

McCoy smirked as she moved back again, sitting down and looking around at the cell. Then, they heard a soft groan and turned back to Jim, who was slowly opening his eyes, his hands moving up to rub them. He tried to sit up without help, but groaned and laid down again, clearly in pain.

“Where are we?” he asked, shakily, voice hoarse, and McCoy moved closer, checking on him and brushing his hair back.

“Prison” he said, making the captain groan in frustration this time and open his eyes. “Rest. We are not leaving here any soon and you need to recover”

“Three attacks in less than forty eight hours. The Empire was more merciful” he muttered, trying to sit up anyway, and being helped by the doctor, who simply stared at him.

“Yeah, I can bet. Don’t worry though. Soon we will be off here for good” he said, trying to be hopeful for their sakes. Jim hummed quietly, nodding slowly and looking around, his eyes stopping at Marcus for a second before finding Spock and McCoy.

They stared back at him, waiting, but he just closed his eyes again and sighed deeply.

“I just want this damn plan to work. I am tired of almost dying”

Well, that was something the three of them could easily agree.

 

It was noon in the next day when they were finally allowed to leave, and Kirk was feeling like himself again. He held back every impulse to hit the guards as they walked out, and then took a deep breath of freedom once they reached the street.

“Right. Now it is your turn Carol” he said, looking at the woman in front of them. “Now you go and find us a quick and small ship so we can continue our little plan”

“It won’t be so easy, Kirk” she said, furrowing her eyebrows, and he rolled his eyes, grabbing her shirt and pulling her closer.

“Sweetheart” he said, slowly, a smirk on his face. “This is the only reason why I brought you here. Now find us a ship” he said, coldly, and she sighed, a bit shaken, before nodding and moving away from him.

“Follow me” she said, walking away and being followed by the three of them. 

“Do you fully trust her, captain?” Spock asked, raising an eyebrow, and Kirk hummed, a smirk still on his lips as he watched Carol walking.

“Well mister Spock, there is something that makes someone completely trustful, and that thing is called unconditional love” he said, chuckling lightly, and then walked faster to catch her up as she made a sharp turn.

The biggest weakness of the human being. He had her at the palm of his hand, doing whatever he wanted just for a chance of being a little more united to him. Silly woman. Little did she know she was not involved in any of his escape plans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alrighty! They are not even close of escaping but oh well... At least they are safe.
> 
> Right? I hope.
> 
> I have up to chapter 19 ready, just so you guys know, because I am trying to finish this before I head up to college. :/ I hope I can. I think this fic won't be much longer. Around 22 chapters idk
> 
> Anyway, leave KUDOS and comments if you enjoyed and see you tomorrow!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: this contains dub-con scenes between Carol and Kirk. Be warned.

“Four days” 

“Four days?! I could steal a ship faster than that” Kirk groaned, rolling his eyes at Carol as she put her hands on her waist.

“Well then do. It’s not like I am the fugitive” she said, angrily, raising her eyebrow. The four of them were staying in a hotel a bit far away from the city, and while she negotiated with people, the three fugitives stayed inside waiting for her. They had been in there for a bit more than three hours and Kirk couldn’t deal with it any longer.

“I just might” he groaned, pacing around the room. “The empire is not far away. The Enterprise is coming and we are not deep into the democrat’s zone. They could easily reach this planet without being tracked and take us down before we get our ship”

“Then go. Risk it. It is hard enough having to get a ship without telling who will travel in it” she said, tiredly, and sat on the bed, where Bones and Spock were also sitting down. 

“Don’t think about it” Bones said before Kirk could even open his mouth, slowly standing up and being followed by Spock. “Spock and I will go and search for available vessels. We are less known and Spock could pass as a vulcan sympathizer. You will stay here with Marcus and wait for us. You can’t afford getting any more hurt”

“Fine...” Kirk muttered after a moment of hesitation, really feeling his muscles screaming for him to lay down and rest. “If the two of you don’t return in two hours, we are coming after you”

“Fair enough, captain” Spock agreed, nodding to Kirk and then following Bones to the door, leaving Kirk and Carol alone. After a light sigh, knowing he couldn’t show himself weak like he could with Spock and Bones, he walked to the bed and laid down, his body relaxing and responding well to the rest. 

“Carol. Wake me up in two hours” he said, lightly, and she nodded, watching him as he closed his eyes and laid comfortably on the bed.

“Of course, Jim”

 

“Are you one hundred percent sure this will work?” Leonard asked as they left the room, heading to the turbo elevators on the other end of the hallway. Spock took a few seconds to answer, but was looking at him when he did.

“Nothing is perfect, doctor. This plan could fail, terribly, but we have to take the chances. Jim is correct. The Enterprise might be closer than we expect. All chances are valid. It is a calculated risk we must take” he said, only making Bones roll his eyes as they walked inside the turbo lifter.

“You surely know how to calm someone’s nerves down” he muttered, nodding to the alien that walked inside the elevator in the next floor. Feeling Leonard’s anxiety, Spock reached down to brush their fingers together in both a vulcan kiss and a way of transmitting peace to the doctor.

It took them two minutes to get to the street, and another ten to find a transporter to the center of the city. Once there, they localized a bar that was used by the locals to get transportation to other planets and systems. Slowly, the two officers walked inside the small place, trying to find a table as quickly as possible.

“We shall find a place and sit. The sellers will come to us” Spock explained, and Leonard nodded, both walking to a small table on a dark corner. They sat down, not calling much attention, and asked some romulan beer.

“I thought we were here to make business, Spock” the doctor teased, but the vulcan just raised an eyebrow.

“This is a bar, Leonard. This is how negotiations start. Besides, I know about your fondness to the drink. As this is probably your last chance to taste it, I believe you deserve it” he said, slowly, and Leonard nodded slowly, smiling to his vulcan.

Just as expected, seconds after being served their drinks, a romulan man approached their table and sat down, telling them something in romulan, a language that neither of them was very good at.

They would have to do their best.

 

Kirk woke up with someone over him, kissing his neck, moving their hands over his stomach. It took him a moment or two to gather his thoughts, but as he did, he opened his eyes and looked down at said person, groaning in tiredness. Blond hair stopped his vision, and he groaned louder, making Carol look up, a smirk on her lips.

“Oh... How sad that you are already awake” she said, pouting, and Kirk groaned again, moving his hand to push her away. However, as he did, his hand got stuck, and he frowned, looking up to see his wrists cuffed to the bed. “Do you like my surprise?”

“What time is it? Where are Bones and Spock?” he asked, angrily, as he tugged on the cuffs, only then noticing that his ankles were also tied down and that he was completely naked. She shrugged at his question, sitting on his stomach.

“They are still trying to get us a ship, I suppose” she said, shrugging, and Kirk looked at her, his eyes burning in rage. 

“How long have they been gone? Let me go” he growled, squirming under the woman. She giggled, leaning down to kiss him and being met with a cheek. She huffed in annoyance and pulled back again.

“They’ve only been gone for four hours. You surely didn’t worry about me that much” Carol said, tilting her head, and Kirk let out a loud growl, tugging hard on the cuffs and making her look at him surprised.

“Let me go. I told you to wake me up after two hours. They could be in danger. Free me!” he said loudly, almost screaming, but she simply sighed, kissing his chest and digging her nails on his sides.

“I was wishing you would cooperate but... I guess you are too worried about them” she said, pouting, but he only growled in rage, squirming again, tugging enough to hurt his skin. “Calm down”

“I will not calm down until I know my men are safe” he said, bitterly, being only answered with kisses up his neck and a grinding down his crotch. “Enough of this Marcus!”

“You will have to wait a little longer. I am horny” she said, biting his lobe and making him want to bite her face off. The restrains were good, strong. She had that planned all along. He closed his eyes and calmed himself, leaving her to it.

He could only hope she would be done fast, or else he would have Carol Marcus’ head destroyed faster than she could say ‘I’.

 

“Four hours Spock. Four hours and nothing” McCoy complained, pacing around the small cell they had been put in. Spock was sitting on the cell’s bed, staring at his hands in silence. “Spock!”

“Leonard. You need to learn how to control your emotions” Spock said, clearly annoyed, and McCoy sighed, rubbing his eyes and walking to him.

“Is this the time to act logically? We are arrested, there is a group of crazy terrans searching for Jim and four hours has been passed with no sign of him. We need to do something!” McCoy said in distress, holding Spock’s shoulders and making the vulcan look up. “We need to think of something”

“And you suggest? Doctor. We are arrested. There is nothing we can do. We must trust our captain. He will come for us and we will be free shortly” he assured, but McCoy just sighed and sat down next to him.

“It isn’t Jim I don’t trust. He is alone with Marcus. That wasn’t the most intelligent thing we have done” he said, rubbing his temples. “What if she took him? What if she gives him away? To the democrats or the empire? What if she gives him for the project?”

“Leonard. I think you underestimate the power of love. Jim was clear when he said he trusts her because she loves him” Spock said, and McCoy looked at him, a sarcastic smirk on his face.

“What do you know about love? Or Jim?” he asked, and before Spock could answer, he raised his hand. “Nothing, that’s what I tell you. She looks at him like she is in love, but love can go. And even if it doesn’t go, it is not powerful enough to keep all your bets on it. I have seen people stare at other people like that only to kill them later, or stab their backs. I’ve seen... Jim using that look with people he surely doesn’t love” he said, slowly, looking down at his hands before sigihing.

“Leonard...” Spock whispered, slowly, suddenly very careful with his words. “You are implying-”

“I am not implying, Spock. I am saying it. He does not love us. It is a fact” McCoy said, resigned, and sighed deeply, squeezing his own hands. “We were fools for thinking that somehow this would solve anything. That he would realize how much we care and that he would come to terms with his own feelings. The problem is that those feelings don’t exist. He will never reciprocate what he doesn’t feel”

“Are you saying that you wish we had let him die?” Spock asked, quietly, slightly above a whisper, and McCoy simply smiled, chuckling to himself.

“Of course not. I could never let Jim die. That would kill me” he said, suddenly feeling very weak, just like that lost teenager that had fallen in love with the wrong woman and being left with nothing but sad memories. “I just wish... Things could be different. Maybe somewhere else, in another universe, we are happy. Maybe there is, somewhere in this thing we call life, a place where he... He can love us back”

Maybe somewhere he was happy after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my fav chapter and I ugh....
> 
> Just...
> 
> Comment and leave KUDOS if you enjoyed and see you tomorrow.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so you guys won't find this chapter weird, let me say one thing: even though Carol did have unwanted sex with Jim, he does not consider it rape because he had it worst, so the fact that he will continue tolerating her after it means nothing more than just the fact that he doesn't take having sex as a torture at all.
> 
> It is fucked up, I know, but it mixes the way the Empire creates their captains and the whole 'you are a man so you can't complain about sex' kind of thing.
> 
> Now on to the story.

“Is your fun over?” Kirk asked, dryly, as Marcus laid next to him, breathing hard and smiling to herself. She brushed her sweaty hair back, humming and kissing his chest in the softest way possible.

“Well, if you want it to be...”

“Yes. Take these off” he said, pulling on the tugs and staring at her angrily. “Take them off now. We have wasted too much time”

“You are so annoying when it comes to the safety of your officers. Specially those two. You were hardly excited” she complained, undoing the cuffs slowly and sitting next to him. He rubbed his wrists and quickly took the ones in his ankles off before standing up. “Why do you care so much about them? I thought you captains were trained not to care about anyone or anything. I even heard that you are trained to kill your families if needed” she asked, slowly dressing herself up. 

“You surely know a lot for someone that left the empire so long ago” he said, turning to her as he wrapped the cloth around his waist. “I am not sure if you know, but they are my only chance to escape the empire and live. It’s not a question about if I care about them or not. I need them”

“No matter how many times those words leave your mouth, they still sound fake” she said, slowly, standing up as she finished putting her boots on. “You care about them. I even dare to say that you love them. Would you kill them if you had to?”

“If I had orders, yes, I would” he said, with no hesitation whatsoever, nodding to the door. “Just as I killed my family”

“Some would say you are a monster. To me, you are just a miserable child trying to find meaning in the things you do” she said, slowly, following him outside the room and making him roll his eyes. “Do you even wonder about who you are killing before you pull the trigger? Do you even think if they might have families, loved ones?”

“Usually, I kill their families and loved ones with them, unless it is a torture mechanism” Kirk answered, getting inside the turbo lifter and being followed by the curious woman. “To witch I have to know their families and loved ones or else emotional torture doesn’t work”

“Have you ever been emotionally tortured?” she asked, even more curious than before. He rolled his eyes in annoyance while they left the lifter and walked to the street.

“Maybe we should let this conversation for later. We first need to find where Bones and Spock are” he said, looking at her. “Where do you get a ship around here?”

“There are a few bars in the city-”

“Take me there. Now”

 

“You better tell us where your captain is, or else this will only get worst” one of the terrans said as they threw Spock inside, carelessly, making him fall with his face on the ground. McCoy was quick to go to his side, pulling him closer and resting his head on his own knee, checking for his vitals and making notes about every injury he showed.

Bruises, cuts, one cracked rib. Not much, could easily be treated by making the vulcan stand still enough. Stupid humans, couldn’t even properly torture a vulcan.

“We will tell you nothing” Spock said, firmly, staring at the terrans while McCoy took out from his medical kit the healing device. The terrans growled and walked away, leaving the two alone in the cell.

“Not much hun?”

“No. Their torturing skills are way behind the Empire’s. Their worry about keeping the prisoner alive seems to make the sections lighter. Also, they know only physical torture, which isn’t very effective in anyone that has come from the empire” he said, slowly, trying to sit up but being stopped by McCoy. “I am fine doctor”

“You have a broken rib. I know it doesn’t sound like much, but you should rest a bit just to make sure it won’t get worst. Also, I will heal your wounds, so keep still” he said, slowly cleaning and healing the cuts and bruises on his face, neck, arms and then torso. “Do you think they will try me next?”

“Positive. Their wish to capture the captain is considerable. I assume they come from a destroyed planet” he said, slowly, laying down just as still as he could, which was more than all humans McCoy had ever worked with.

“Well then. I should get ready to receive a little bit of injuries” he said, teasingly, and Spock raised his eyebrow before staying quiet, face serious. McCoy sighed quietly and continued attending the vulcan’s wounds, silent.

Jim should arrive soon. He still had hopes.

 

“You know it isn’t safe for you to just walk around the city like this, right? You are being hunted” Carol said as they walked inside the third bar they found, looking around the place.

“Well, if I want to find them, I need to be taken. If they are somewhere else than looking for ships, it means that they are locked up somewhere and we have to find them” Kirk said, firmly, sitting on a table in the dark and being followed by the blond woman.

“Still. If we get arrested, we won’t be able to get them out” she said, rolling her eyes, and he smirked at her.

“You won’t. You will tell them you were captured by me and you will take us out as soon as you can” he said, firmly, and she furrowed her eyebrows.

“I doubt that will work” she said, rolling her eyes, and he looked at her coldly.

“It will work because you will make it work. I did everything you wanted until now. We need to be out of there tomorrow, so we can find a vessel. We don’t have your four days. We need a ship and we need it now. We will get it by ourselves, but we need to be out of the cell first”

“How do you even know they are arrested? They might just be late” she complained, sighing deeply. 

“They wouldn’t disobey my orders unless they were in danger” Kirk said, firmly, looking around the bar before asking for some brandy.

“You worry so much about them. It is impressive” she said, smirking slowly, and Kirk stared at her with a glance that could certainly kill. “Don’t look at me like that. It is true. We could escape, just you and me. But no. You need them”

“That is what you want, isn’t it? You want to leave this galaxy with me and be happy like you dream of” he said, slowly, making Carol blush and look down. “Ridiculous. That future doesn’t exist. We can’t be together forever Carol. Not even if I wanted to, which I don’t, we couldn’t. I am not what you want”

“You don’t know what I want” she said, coldly, and looked up at him. “You think I want your love, your attention. I know you can’t give me that. And maybe my hopes haven’t been destroyed, but this is by no chance the real reason why I want you. I want you because you have power. Power enough to help me achieve what I want”

“Sweetheart. Even if I loved you I would never betray the empire. You are nothing more than a good booty call. I will never help you” Kirk said, firmly, and before Carol could answer, he looked to the door and smirked. “Oh, I think they saw me. Great”

In a quick move he reached under the table and cuffed Carol’s hands, making her gasp in surprise and anger. Then, he stood up and pulled her with him, calling the attention of the group before he started to walk away, holding Carol by the cuffs.

“What are you doing?!” she asked, angrily, but he just smirked.

“You are my prisoner, remember? Now chill and pretend. We will get them quickly”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, a little chapter with little to no answered questions. Things are going to get warmer from now on, and a few more questions will be answered along these next chapters.
> 
> Also I will do my best to fit in a few answers to your questions that I hadn't thought of. You guys notice things I didn't even realize hehehehe.
> 
> In any case, leave KUDOS and comments if you enjoyed it and see you tomorrow!


	16. Chapter 16

“There you go Kirk. We will get you back soon” the guard said as he pushed Jim inside their cell. McCoy and Spock looked up and rushed to their captain, who was slowly standing up and looking back at them. The guard left shortly after and Jim chuckled as he was pulled up by his officers.

“We are so lucky they only have one cell” he muttered as he looked at them, and both looked back, annoyed and confused.

“What are you doing here? You are three hours late for your rescue mission and you are locked inside with us. How are we even going to escape?” McCoy asked, frustrated, but Jim just shook his head, relaxed. 

“Do not worry, doctor. Carol will take us out of here soon” he said, looking between the two of them. “Also, blame her for those extra hours. She didn’t wake me up when I told her to and when she did, I was tied to the bed. That little bitch” he chuckled, rolling his eyes.

McCoy and Spock decided against making any comments, simply sitting on the ground and being followed by their captain.

“So. What is the plan? Did you two get any ship while you were looking for us?” the doctor asked, but Jim simply shook his head.

“No. We will have to do the dirty work ourselves” Jim answered slowly, rolling his eyes in annoyance now. Spock raised his eyebrow before placing his hands on his knees in a calming manner. He was in pain, probably, but McCoy couldn’t do much.

“Captain. I must ask if doctor Marcus is a part of our escape plan. The entire plan was thought out for the three of us. If we have to include her, I would like to be the first to know, so I can calculate the odds once again and adapt the plan to her inclusion” he said, coldly, dryly, and McCoy could feel the contained rage coming from the vulcan. Neither of them wanted to include the woman in their plan, but that was all about Jim. He was the one that should make the calls.

“There is no need to calculate anything. I don’t expect to take her beyond this planet” Jim said, waving his hand. “She will only bring us problems in the close future. I will get rid of her as soon as we get a ship”

“I thought you liked her” McCoy said, deciding to speak what he was thinking for once in his life. Jim gave him an odd look and then shrugged.

“She’s good in bed. That’s all I want her for” he said, and there was no remorse in his voice. McCoy almost flinched at the comment, and ignored the stare Spock gave him, a mix with worry, pity and warning. 

No. If they were going through with this plan, they had to come clean with each other. And there was no other moment than that.

“Oh really? So you are leaving us as well when we get a ship?” he asked, coldly, and Spock’s eyebrows went up in surprise while Jim stared at him, slowly, confused.

“What are you talking about?”

“Well Jim, here is the deal: if she is only good for you in bed, why should we think we are any different? Why should we believe that you won’t get rid of us as well?” McCoy asked, dryly, a smirk on his lips. “You are lying to her. Why couldn’t you be lying to us too?”

“Leonard...” Spock tried, but Jim raised his hand, staring deep into McCoy’s eyes.

“No. Let him continue. Why are you comparing yourself to Carol?” the captain asked, slowly, moving his hand back down to his knee and making the doctor roll his eyes.

“Well I don’t know. Maybe because you send me mixed messages all the time, just like you did to her, back in the day, and you two had the deepest relationship I ever saw you having with anyone. Damn it Jim, you two had a child together!” he said, loudly, frustrated. “If you treat the mother of your son like this, how can I even trust you care more about us than about her?”

“I don’t”

“Yeah of co... What?” McCoy asked, his voice breaking slightly as he stared back at Jim, with Spock following in less than a millisecond. Jim shrugged, bending one of his legs and supporting his arm on it casually.

“You are right. I don’t. You two are great officers, just like she was, but unlike with her, I owe you two my life. And no matter how my reputation shows me, I am a man that values sacrifices and loyalty” he said, shrugging again. “So that’s why I am not going to kill you two when we get to the ship. I thought it was obvious. I don’t understand why the two of you are so emotional about this escape”

The silence that followed was dark, thick and breathtaking. Suffocating. They were drowning in a room filled with air. And Jim seemed calm, staring at them with relaxed muscles and calm eyes, just like he hadn’t just destroyed them from inside out. It wasn’t possible that he didn’t know. That he didn’t understand up to this point. So there was only one thing that explained everything: he was being honest.

Everything was in slow motion and blurry, but McCoy was able to look at Spock for a moment. 

And shit if it wasn’t worst.

 

Spock had never thought that words would be the most effective weapon against him. Those phrases cut worst than a knife, and he had to close his eyes to get his balance again. The world was spinning, blurry, dark on the edges. His stomach hurt, he was breathless, his hands trembled and his head pounded painfully.

“Spock” he heard someone calling, and as he opened his eyes, he was no longer in the cell. He was somewhere else, in a white room, alone, and everything was quiet. Then, the room went black and he gasped, feeling the floor disappear from under his feet. He fell, slowly, into the black abyss under him, reaching out for anything, trying to stop the fall with no avail. He felt breathless, as if he was falling into water, with no oxygen around. 

He had never felt anything like it. It was worst than anything, any near death experience, worst than Pon Farr, worst than anything.

Flashes started to show up in front of him, memories of what had long been gone, about his parents, Vulcan, Starfleet, T’Pring, Uhura, Leonard and Jim, and then he fell, sitting the ground with a loud sound and blinking his eyes open slowly. When he did, there were Jim and Leonard, smiling at him. But those weren’t his Leonard and Jim. They were the ones he had encountered in one of their travels, the one from the other universe.

“It was a pleasure to meet you, evil Spock” Leonard said, chuckling lightly. “You are nicer than I expected”

“I hope everything works out between you three. You know, if they are anything alike us at all, they love you very much” Jim said, smiling widely before the two waved, disappearing in front of him.

And he was alone again, breathless, in the darkness of his mind, unable to move, to reach out to the surface.

Indeed bonding was not an option in their current situation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, a little glimpse at the other universes and things start to complicate Jim's life.
> 
> leave KUDOS and comments if you enjoyed and see you tomorrow!


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And suddenly, things start to change...

“What did you do?!” Bones yelled as he held Spock close to his body as he convulsed, his body trembling and shaking in a way they had never seen the vulcan do. Jim’s eyes were wide as he stared, completely frozen. “Spock! SPOCK!”

“I-I didn’t...” Kirk tried, but shut up quickly as he saw Bones’ stare.

“I swear that if he dies I will kill you” he said, coldly, before returning his attention to Spock, getting his medical kit and checking his vitals. Then, he laid the vulcan on his side and reached for a hypo. “Relax Spock. I am here. You will be fine” he said, more to himself than the vulcan, as he injected the liquid in the hypo in Spock. He convulsed for a few more seconds before calming down, and Bones checked his vitals again, sighing in relief. “It worked... I hope he wakes up soon...”

“What happened?” Kirk asked, still in shock, and Bones rolled his eyes, turning to the man in front of him.

“I don’t believe you listened to those tapes paying enough attention. We are his T’hy’la. That means that if the connection is made and the T’hy’la doesn’t correspond, the vulcan dies. Not that it matters to you anyway. We are not important to you” he said, coldly, turning his attention back to Spock, checking his neural activity. Kirk stood still, before furrowing his eyebrows.

“That was not what I meant!”

“That was exactly what you meant!” Bones yelled, looking back at him and making him back out, slightly scared. “You meant that we are nothing more than your dumb whores to whom you owe your life so you won’t harm us because you are respectful man. Please Kirk. Enough with this bullshit. You are not respectful here or in anywhere else and you will never be, because you are selfish, mean, evil, vile, malicious, you get pleasure from hurting people and destroying worlds, you respect a government that has done nothing more than destroy your life and everything you ever loved, and you show no remorse in doing so. You are a wonderful captain and a terrible excuse of a human being. You killed your family with no hesitation, poisoned the only woman that ever truly loved you so she wouldn’t be able to conceive your baby, and you do all of that because? Because you had a sad childhood and you want revenge. You want revenge over the abuse you suffered, but let me tell you something: we all suffered. We live in an empire. A dictatorship. No one lives happily ever after in these scenarios. And that was what we were trying to get ourselves. A happy ending. But you have to ruin everything because you were an innocent, naive boy that was able to survive a massacre so you decided that love wasn’t worth it if it would eventually be taken from you. But you are a fool, because by normal means or not, everyone dies in the end, and love will always end in a sad twist, but we are here to live the present, not the future. We are here to enjoy every moment possible and take everything to it’s fullest because that is what we can do. But I won’t, I will not let you ruin this. I don’t care if you are Spock’s T’hy’la and my soulmate, this is over. I will not let you ruin what Spock and I have been working on for months. I will not let him die just for your stupid selfish ass. So you better find your way with Marcus, because I am finding us a ship tonight and I am leaving with you or not. I am tired of your games, your plans. I will take Spock away and I will make this work, you in or out” he finished, taking a deep breath and shaking his head. Then, he turned back to Spock and continued to check him as James stood up, walking away from the pair.

Everything hurt. More than any torture he had ever suffered, more than killing his family, more than poisoning Carol, more than fighting for his life in Tarsus. He felt dizzy with the pain he felt, so he sat down, staring at the wall in silence, trying to regain his thoughts and air. He closed his eyes, hands shaking, and pressed his forehead to the cold wall, shivering from his head to his lower back. He felt so weak, so tired.

Bones was right about everything, like he always was. He was right and he was clearly tired. Frustrated. Upset. Heartbroken. And James knew why. Obviously. Because of him. His words. His actions. He was a time bomb, and the time had finally ended. 

Now was the true moment of choice. James had to choose if he would turn back to be Captain Kirk, fugitive from the empire, or Jim, a man searching a better life, a chance of rebirth.

He was a super nova, and he had to decide if he wanted to become a black hole or a new star. And that was one of the hardest questions he had ever had to answer.

His Solar System was dying and he needed to do something. Quick.

 

“Hey boys” McCoy heard, looking up to see Carol Marcus standing in front of the cell. It was already nighttime, but she had been faster than he had anticipated. Spock was already awake, but still weak, so he sat up with the doctor’s help, holding onto his shoulder for support. “Time to go back to the hotel”

“I thought you wouldn’t come” McCoy said honestly, standing up and pulling Spock with him, keeping him close, wrapping an arm around the vulcan’s waist. Spock leaned against him, walking slowly to the door of the cell after she had opened it. Behind them came Kirk, silent and watchful.

“Doctor! I like to keep my promises” she said, smirking. “And I think I found us a ship as well. I will have her ready tomorrow afternoon. Until then I suggest that the three of you stay in the hotel, so no one will get suspicious again. We have no time to lose”

“How the hell did you even get here so easily?” McCoy asked, supporting Spock while they walked out, watching the passed out guards. The woman shrugged.

“Well, I could say I am incredible, but actually these are just civilians. They are by no means any entity. They were a group of rebels that happened to be here and saw their big luck when you appeared. After all, no one knew we were here” she said, smiling. “For someone who worked in Starfleet, distracting them was ridiculous. They are just commons”

“Indeed” Spock muttered, and the four of them headed slowly out of the small prison, passing through some passed out guards. Soon they were outside, walking to a transporter and leaving to the hotel once again, where they would be safe for a while.

“Well, I will get the ship ready. You three rest” Marcus said, smiling, and then quickly left again, this time on foot. McCoy rolled his eyes and started to walk back to the hotel when Spock lost his balance, almost falling despite from the doctor’s hold. Before he reached the ground, however, Kirk came and pulled him up, putting the vulcan’s arm around his shoulder.

“Come on” he said, quietly, wrapping his arm around Spock and letting it touch McCoy’s. The doctor rolled his eyes but stayed quiet as they walked, the help making the walk way less uncomfortable. In a few minutes, Spock was laying down on the bed again, while McCoy continued to check him, trying to find a logical answer to the convulsions he had had before aside from the whole T’hy’la thing. He had said that before, but he had no idea if it was the real reason. He just needed a way of letting everything out to Kirk, and he did. He was pleased with himself.

“Leonard. Make me sleep. I will feel better if I rest” Spock muttered, holding his arm, and McCoy looked at him before sighing and nodded, taking out his last tranquilizer and injecting the liquid into Spock.

“See you tomorrow, you green blooded elf” he muttered, fondly, and watched as Spock’s eyes closed and he fell into a comfortable sleep. He sighed deeply before standing up, deciding to take a shower, ignoring Kirk in every way possible until he felt a hand on his wrist. “Let me go”

“Bones”

“I don’t want to hear it Kirk. Let me go”

“Bones, listen-”

“I will not listen! Let me go”

“Bon-”

“Find someone else to play with. I am tired of your games”

“Bones I-”

“I don’t wan-”

“Len” Kirk muttered, his hand squeezing McCoy’s wrist, and the doctor stopped at the nickname that hadn’t been used in a really, really long time ago. “Len please... I am not playing anymore”

Silence. A sigh. McCoy turned around, staring at Kirk with unimpressed eyes.

“I am listening”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well then. I think Leonard had enough of Kirk's shit.
> 
> Leave KUDOS and comments if you enjoyed and see you tomorrow!


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very important notes in the end.
> 
> PLEASE READ

Spock woke up a few hours later, feeling better. His pain was gone, and now he just felt a bit sick. He sat up slowly, looking around and finding himself alone in the dark room. He stood up, fixing his clothes and deciding to take a quick shower, before he went out searching for Leonard and Jim. The shower took five minutes, and he changed to clean clothes before slowly walking out of the room, looking around the hallway. 

Quietly, he headed to the turbo lifter, getting inside and following his instincts. He went down to the main hall, and once there he searched for any bar area he could find. Once again his instincts were correct, and as he walked inside he saw both Leonard and Jim talking over glasses of some drink, sitting on a table in a dark area of the bar. The place was empty, but they were so focused on each other that they didn’t see the vulcan walking inside.

“Do you want anything?” the barmen asked as he walked past the bar, and he shook his head, thanking him with a quick nod. Then, he walked to the small table, only being noticed when he was five steps from it.

“Spock! What are you doing here?” Leonard asked, worriedly, standing up, but before he could move any further, Spock raised his hand and pulled a chair, sitting on the empty space in their small round table.

“I woke up feeling fine, Leonard. I just wanted to find you” he said, softly, giving Jim a quick glance before returning his attentions to the doctor. “May I know what the two of you are discussing about?”

“Ask your captain” Leonard said, shrugging and sitting down again, taking a long sip from his drink. Spock then moved his eyes to Jim, who was quietly playing with his glass. It took a few seconds, but he sighed and looked up at Spock.

“I am sorry for what I said. I didn’t mean those words” he said, slowly, and Spock nodded, continuing to stare at his captain. “Bones was right. I am a selfish asshole that doesn’t deserve your help. That doesn’t deserve you two. But the bad part is that I need you both, just like you need me. I need the two of you to be happy and live. And honestly, I wouldn’t hesitate in doing anything to save the two of you, even if it doesn’t look like it. I just need you to know that I am sorry, and that I don’t expect your forgiveness.”

“You are forgiven, Jim” Spock said, easily, and both Leonard and the captain looked at him surprised.

“Oh well... I expected a little fight there” the doctor said, honestly, clearly a bit frustrated. Spock raised his eyebrow before shaking his head.

“I do not know what the two of you experienced when you were transported to the alternative reality we once found, but I surely learned a lot from your counterparts. Mainly that humans are far more complicated than they seem, but they are also a very stubborn race, that does not give up easily. And one of the things they said, after I realized they weren’t you, was simply: ‘you and our Spock are not so different after all. You clearly care more about your captain and doctor than we expected’. And also: ‘if there is one thing we are alike in this and our universe, is how we feel about you. We might not say it, or even show it, but you will always find it if you look for long enough’. That day removed every doubt I could have. And I did as they said. I looked further, longer, deeper, and I found it in there, somewhere. So earlier this day my body reacted to the rejection like any, but I regained my conscience way before any vulcan would, because I knew those words weren’t true.” He explained, his voice soft and calm, while both Leonard and Jim stared at him, surprised and clearly a bit jealous of their counterparts.

“Well... It seems like you had a blast with those guys” Leonard said, shrugging and sipping on his drink, but Spock simply raised his eyebrow.

“On the contrary, doctor. They were too soft”

The comment made both men burst out in a light hearted laugh, that ended in a few seconds but was enough to show that they were not over, not yet. The three got quiet again as the Terrans drank their drinks, Spock watching them calmly, his sickness slowly disappearing.

“So this is it? Now we are all... sweet and lovely” Jim said, slowly, and Leonard chuckled, rolling his eyes.

“We are in a serious and truthful relationship. We are not a different reality. You better not cut some slack” the doctor warned, smirking, and Jim chuckled lightly, rolling his eyes as he finished his drink.

“I just hope Carol can get that ship quickly for real now”

“So do I. The Enterprise must not be much behind now” Spock said, eyebrows furrowing. “We need a good gap between us so we can get out of the galaxy in safety”

“And where are we going after that? We don’t have any other charted galaxies” Leonard complained, but Spock shook his head.

“Worry not doctor. Studies have been made in a few galaxies around ours. We will be fine as long as we can escape the empire”

“Well then... I am trusting you” he said, and Jim smiled, watching the two with tired eyes. 

They could make it work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So guys! I have already finished the story entirely and I would like to know if you prefer that I continue posting one chapter a day, or that I post two (like I did today) or if I post all of them tomorrow or monday. There are twenty five chapters in total so there is a little more to come. I just want to know what would please you guys the best because I finished everything so I could just post everything now or I could continue one at a day to keep the suspense.
> 
> You decide. 
> 
> If you liked, leave KUDOS and comments and see you tomorrow!


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Death warning over here.

The couldn’t make it work.

“For all mighty gods, what the hell did you get us?” McCoy asked in distress as he stared at the excuse of a ship in front of them. The... thing... was big enough for them, obviously, and did have nice engines that could easily hold a warp factor nine for longer than most ships, but it was in pieces and they had no engineer around.

“Minor details, doctor. I can fix this in a few hours” Marcus said, looking at her ship proudly. He rolled his eyes and looked at Spock and Jim, who were just as negatively surprised.

“Alright. Time to work” Jim said, pulling his sleeves up and walking inside the ship, followed by Marcus and Spock. McCoy let out a loud sigh and rolled his eyes, heading inside after them.

“I’m a doctor, not an engineer. I shouldn’t be doing this” he muttered, resigned, as he followed Marcus to the bridge to fix the panels while Spock and Jim went to the engineering to check on the engines.

Those were going to be long hours indeed.

 

“Alright. What do we have here?” James asked as he and Spock walked inside the room where the dilithium crystals were located. The entire room was a mess, with broken glass all over the place, melted tubes, the chamber for the crystals seemed destroyed beyond repair. Everything was a huge mess, and they surely would need at least a day to get all the pieces and rebuild the vessel. “Well this is terrible”

“Things are worst than I had predicted, captain” Spock agreed, looking around and making small notes on his tricorder. “At least we have crystals here. I am making a scan to know what pieces we shall need. Then we can go to a close by post and get the pieces”

“Great” James said, sitting on a small chair that wasn’t completely destroyed and looking around. “How long until we are completely done and ready to leave, Mister Spock?”

“Twelve hours, if my calculations are correct. That, of course, if we have everything perfect in record time” Spock said, walking to the chair and looking down at him. “The most likely result is that we will be ready to departure in twenty three hours.”

“We don’t have a day to spend” James muttered, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “The Enterprise could be here any day now. Knowing how crazy Sulu and Scotty can become when their reputation is at stake, they might even be coming in warp factor nine”

“You shall not worry. They will have to arrive, find this planet and then find us. It is unlikely that they will arrive before we leave the planet” Spock said, and turned his attention back to the tricorder. “I have all the pieces. We should go”

“Alright” the captain sighed, standing up and following his first officer up to the bridge of the ship. Bones and Carol were fighting about something when they walked inside, and they shut up quickly.

“Jim. Spock. There are several cables and buttons missing” Bones said, walking to them and being followed by Carol. James nodded to Spock and the vulcan started to scan the room, getting the list of pieces they would need.

“We are going to a market place to buy the pieces” James explained, and both Bones and Carol nodded. “You two can stay and keep doing the possible repairs. Nothing fancy and unnecessary. I want this thing to fly, nothing more”

“Yes captain” both said at the same time, before walking back to where they had been before. James then looked at Spock, who quickly nodded to him.

“Everything ready. Let’s go” he said, and the two of them walked out of the ship, heading to the market where they could buy some pieces and fix the ship. They needed to be off soon.

 

“Well... You are not that bad of an engineer” Marcus said as they finished fixing everything they could, from lines to doors and buttons. McCoy smirked, cleaning his hands on his pants and looking at her.

“And you are not that bad of a teacher” he said, and she smiled, rolling her eyes. “You’re also pretty good with your hands”

“Doctor, are you trying to flirt with me?” she asked, eyes malicious, and he chuckled, smirking a bit more.

“Well, if you take it as such...” he chuckled, sitting down and letting himself rest. She did the same, sitting next to him and sighing. “So... You and Jim, hun?”

“He will never love me. But yeah. Those were fun nights” she said, smirking, and looked at McCoy. “I shouldn’t be surprised, should I?”

“No, you shouldn’t. But I don’t blame you” he said, slowly, looking at the window in front of them. “I never had the time to say that I was sorry for your loss. David, right?”

“Yeah. David” she muttered, crossing her arms over her stomach. “He was supposed to be a great kid. But I think whoever is up there didn’t want him to come out so soon”

“Yeah” McCoy whispered, looking at her guiltily before looking back out to the sky. He remembered when Jim had asked him to do a medicine for abortion. He didn’t know what the man had in mind, and when he found out, he couldn’t say he had felt any type of guilt. Now, however, he understood why it was wrong. Now he understood a lot more. Spock had showed him how wrong they had been all along. 

“I am trying another” Carol said, and he looked at her, tilting his head. “This is why I keep sleeping with him. I said I wanted his power, but it isn’t true. I love him, but he will never love me. So perhaps I could have something that would remind me of him. That I could love. I wouldn’t bother him. Tell him about it. It would just be David and me. I wouldn’t mind”

McCoy stared at her, speechless. That was surely the most depressing and romantic thing he had ever heard anyone say. A love so pure that did not require the person, just a part of them. It was beautiful, really. But he had always been a romantic.

“Well... If you wish, we can go out and buy a few things in a store so I can make a medicine that will make you fertile. Then I will assure you that you will have a baby” he said, and she looked at him surprised, a smile on her face. 

“Really? You would do that for me?”

“Yeah. You are not keeping him anyway” he said, shrugging, and stood up. “Come with me. I will show you how to make it in case you ever need another shot”

“Thank you” Carol muttered, standing up and walking with him to the streets again. “I don’t know how to pay you for this”

“Take good care of that child. That will be enough” McCoy assured, walking with her silently to the store.

 

Just as programmed by Spock, twenty-four hours later the ship was ready. They had spent the entire day awake, and everything seemed perfect to move on with the plan. 

The four of them went out to by supplements for the trip, knowing it would last at least months if everything went right. Luckily for them, the ship was pretty economic, so they wouldn’t have to refuel too many times. The batteries could last five months with twenty passengers, so with only them it would last even longer.

Once everything was put in their rightful place, it was time to leave.

And that meant taking Carol out of the picture.

So, before they left, James walked to the storage room, where she was finishing organizing every thing, and stood behind her, watching her silently. She was beautiful, a great woman, a wonderful human being. She could change everything, lead a rebellion, destroy the empire. She could, just as easily, destroy them, and he couldn’t take any risks. He wouldn’t, even if the thought of killing her was harder.

He wouldn’t miss her. He wouldn’t regret this. He wouldn’t even hesitate. But he wasn’t getting any pleasure from it either, unlike he had thought he would a day prior.

“Goodbye, Carol” he muttered, knowing she wouldn’t hear it, and walked to her.

The knife went through the skull with no sound, not splash of blood, no pain, just like he wanted. She fell, dead, on the ground, with no idea of what had just happened, and James stared at her for a while, before slowly picking her up and taking her back out.

Bones and Spock watched in silence as he hid her body behind a few bushes by the ship in the empty field it was located, and then walked back to the ship, staring at his two officers.

It was time to go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright so Carol is out of the picture now. What more can this trio wait?
> 
> The story is ending... :/
> 
> Leave KUDOS and comments if you enjoy and see you tomorrow.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of vulcan bonding is good for the soul.

“You had been planning to do that since the beginning?” Bones asked, and James sighed softly, shrugging to himself.

“I knew she was dangerous. Eventually she would cause us several problems. We have little chances of survival, so the logical and right thing was to get rid of her as soon as possible” he said, shrugging again. He looked at the window in front of them, watching the stars that passed by. They were already two hours into space, the engines working perfectly fine. Everything seemed to be going right. “I just regret never knowing why she helped us. She clearly had a reason beyond having fun times with me” 

“Well, some things are better left unsaid” Bones said, lightly, and before James could think about that statement, Spock walked into the bridge, looking straight to the window.

“Everything is functioning normally captain. Warp factor eight holding steady. In less than four days we will be in the last frontier of our galaxy, ready to head out to outer space” Spock reported, and Bones sighed.

“And from then on, only luck will save us” the doctor said, taking a deep shaky breath. “In my entire life I never thought I would be in a starship, let alone in uncharted space out of my galaxy. I feel like I’m going to throw up” he complained, rubbing his eyes and sighing. James and Spock looked at each other before reaching out for the doctor, the first holding his hand and the latter placing his hand on the doctor’s shoulder.

“Worry not Leonard. As long as we are together, we will find hope in the impossible and make it doable” he assured, and James smiled, truly smiled, while squeezing Bones’ hand.

“You should write a poem” Bones teased Spock, smirking up to him, and the vulcan raised an eyebrow before his eyes sparkled in amusement and his lips turned up just a little.

“Thank you Leonard” 

James watched the two silently, finally realizing things he hadn’t ever realized before. The way they argued, the way they looked at each other, the way they touched. He had always seen it but he had never... really seen it. What it meant. And it was incredible, in a universe like theirs, that they were able to find each other in the entire galaxy of probabilities. 

Upon his silence, both men turned to stare at him, in a silent curious and worried way. James chuckled to himself at that and rolled his eyes, shaking his head.

“You know...” he muttered, looking out at the stars again, watching them go and come closer. “I never thought I would be this happy again. I really feel like I finally accomplished something good, after a lifetime of evil choices”

“Captain” Spock said, warningly, and James looked at him. “I must alert you that your discourse is very alike the one from your counterpart in the other universe” 

James chuckled again, shaking his head and sighing deeply, happily, content.

“Well Mister Spock, I must say this, right now, feels a lot like the universe I visited once. A universe long gone, very different, but still very real and very calm. A universe where fighting wasn’t necessary. Wasn’t taught. A universe with eternal peace” he whispered, closing his eyes and humming. “Isn’t it the dream?”

“A universe where we could be like this back in the enterprise, with our nice crew that wouldn’t try to murder us” Bones said, agreeing with James. “A nice place that was, even though we spent most of the time inside a cell”

“I am believing to think I exchanged you two for your counterparts in some moment these days” Spock said, and both James and Bones looked up to him, chuckling at his concerned eyes. Then, the captain stood up and smirked.

“Nah. I am myself alright” he said, grabbing Spock’s shirt and pulling him closer. “Enough of this sentimental talk. I missed you two”

“Oh. I thought you liked Marcus better than us” Bones said, coming from behind and pressing against his back.

“Well you are very wrong” James muttered back, letting his head rest on Bones’ shoulder as the doctor kissed his neck, and Spock moved his hand to brush their fingers together.

James had never thanked engineers enough for making a ship that had an automatic pilot, because at that moment, only an attack would take his attention off his officers.

And an attack wasn’t coming any time soon.

 

“How do you feel, Leonard?” Spock asked as they watched their captain sleep in the small quarters of the ship. Jim was always tired after such activities, aside from the fact that his body was more sensitive than ever, having gone through several tortures in the last days.

The doctor looked at their captain in silence before smiling lightly and shrugging.

“I feel, incredibly, fine” he said, slowly, sitting next to Jim and brushing his hair with his fingers. “I feel happy and I feel complete, in some way. And safe. I feel really safe”

“So do I” Spock said, slowly, and sat down in Jim’s other side, watching as the man mumbled in his sleep, looking calm like that. “I think it is safe to complete our bond”

“Spock? Are you sure?” Leonard asked, looking at the vulcan. “Many things can go wrong in this trip. If one of us die, you will be left with several mental and emotional injuries. Some you might never recover. Perhaps you should wait until we are settled somewhere else”

“Leonard. I appreciate your concern and I understand what you are saying. However, I too have a chance of dying in this mission, and I do not wish to die without knowing what it feels like to be complete” he said, his voice light and calm. “I have to know”

“Well... You are the vulcan” the doctor shrugged, looking down at Jim’s hand. “You do whatever you want. You already know I am up for it. I don’t know if Jim is this comfortable with doing it”

“I can start with you” Spock whispered, and Leonard looked up again. “That way you can explain to the captain what it feels like”

“Well then” he nodded, a bit hesitant, unsure, but when Spock stood up, he stood as well. The two circled the bed and stood face to face by the end of it, where Jim slept, calm and collected. “Lets get on with this”

“I ashaya du” Spock whispered, lifting his hand to touch Leonard’s face while the other reached to intertwine their fingers. Before the mind meld started, the doctor rolled his eyes and smirked. 

“I love you too, you cheesy elf”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, Bones and Spock are bonded. What will happen next? Who knows right?
> 
> I do but anyway.
> 
> Maybe I will not be able to post tomorrow morning so you guys keep this up.
> 
> Have fun and see ya


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I didn't post before. I have been having rough days here in my college. Had to change cities and I am dying missing my parents.
> 
> Anyway enjoy.

“Captain” Spock said, looking through the scanners of the ship. Both James and Bones looked at the vulcan, waiting for him. “There is a ship approaching. Warp factor eight. Twenty minutes away from us”

James had just woken up less than ten minutes before, and he wasn’t in his right mind to command a ship in a stressful situation. He rubbed his eyes, trying to wake up, and looked at Spock.

“Well then put our ship in warp factor eight and lets get out of here” he said, firmly, but the vulcan turned back, looking at his captain.

“No matter what we had previously thought, this ship cannot maintain the speed. We just got out of it. We need time for the engines to cool off” Spock said, firmly, and James sighed, rolling his eyes.

“If we wait, this ship will reach us and we will be done for. Get us moving before this all goes to hell” he said, firmly, and Spock nodded, heading to the navigator panel and working with the engines. Bones walked closer to Jim, worry clear on his face.

“Jim. Are you sure this is a good idea?” he asked, looking down at his captain, and Jim sighed, staring ahead.

“This is our only chance Bones. Either this or we will surely die. There is no doubt that it is the Enterprise” he said, firmly, and Bones sighed, clearly having to agree.

“You know what?” Bones asked, and James looked up at him curiously. “Suddenly I realized how incredible my life back in my farm in Georgia was way better than this mess that I’ve put myself in.”

“Honestly doctor, I couldn’t agree more” James said, smirking to himself. “But then again, what would be the fun in that?”

And then it was time for Bones to let out an agreeing chuckle.

 

Suddenly, the three of them heard an explosion coming from the back of the ship and the three jumped up to check what had happened. They walked through the hallway and reached engineering, finding it exploded, completely destroyed.

“What the hell happened here?” Jim asked, eyes wide, while both Leonard and Spock walked closer to the destroyed pieces of the motor. Jim stayed quiet until they walked closer. “So. What did you find?”

“Completely destroyed. It would take a week to fix the engines in a Starfleet post” Spock said, tilting his head. Jim looked at him and then looked at Leonard, worried but clearly making a plan up.

“So we just have to wait” Leonard said, resigned, and sighed deeply. “Wonderful. Well empire, we are right in the middle of nothing. Just get here and end this once and for all” 

“Bones. You are not helping” Jim said, furrowing his eyebrows. “There is no way they know one hundred percent we are here. Maybe we can convince them that we are just merchants. They will take us anyway, but-”

“But we will be tracked and put inside the ship” Spock concluded, eyes sparkling.

“And right into the cargo bay. If there is any chance of escape, that would be the best place. We can try to find ourselves an escape pod and hope for the best. We have no other chance” Jim said, rubbing his temple.

“You two really are thinkers. But how will we get through the Enterprise guards?” Leonard asked, staring at the two nervously. Both Spock and Jim looked at each other, and nodded slowly, turning back to the doctor.

“Well doctor... If we are convincing enough, they will send their weaker quadrant” Spock said, a small smirk coming up to his mouth. “And I do have two of my personal guards there in that own team”

“Yes Spock, I know. But you ran away. You are a rebel now” Leonard said, frustrated. “They will never help a fugitive”

“Leonard. They answer to me, not to my patent. If I command, they will help” he said, certainly, and Leonard sighed deeply, shaking his head.

“You know what? I will leave you two to it. We are already dead anyway” he said, waving his hand. “I’ll go take a nap and then you two fill me in. We have a few hours, right?”

“Two hours and thirty two minutes” Spock confirmed.

“Wonderful. Wake me up in an hour” he said, walking off, and both Jim and Spock turned back to each other. 

Time to plan out.

 

“I want you to be sure of something, Spock. They are looking for me. That means that if you find any opening to save yourself and Bones, I want you to take that opening” James said, firmly, and Spock simply stared at him.

“But then our mission would have failed” he said, furrowing his eyebrows in the slightest manner. “We need to get you somewhere safe. That is what we wanted to accomplish with this mission”

“Spock. I don’t give a fuck about what you wanted to accomplish or not. You see an opening, you take it” he said, firmly. “I will be fine. You will see. You just have to go and do it for safety measures”

“I will, captain” he said, a little hesitant but sure of himself. “However, it won’t be necessary, seeing that we will find an escape pod and leave the ship soon after we enter it. I believe, now, that we need to find a way of making them believe we are not we”

“Well first, we have the advantage that this ship cannot contact anyone face to face. So that means that we need to change our voices. Which is easier, but harder at the same time.” He said, frowning deeply. 

“I am certain that the doctor can make a very convincing country accent” the Vulcan said, firmly, and James looked up at him, smiling widely. 

“Oh he is going to love this”

 

“I am not doing this” McCoy said, after the plan had been told to him. They had one hour before the Enterprise caught them. If it was the enterprise at all. “You know how terrible I am with lying”

“You are the only option, doctor” Spock said, firmly, and McCoy sighed deeply, rubbing his eyes and sitting on the chair close by inside those small quarters.

“Fine. What the hell I need to say?”

“That we are a merchant ship that ended up being hit by an asteroid and lost our engines. That we need repairs and cannot fight. And if they ask anything about us, tell them that you didn’t know that there were imperials here” Jim said, serious. “You can do it Bones. I know it”

“I wish I had that confidence in myself” the doctor muttered, and then stood up again, nodding. “Alright. I will do my best. But I don’t promise anything.”

That was good enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave KUDOS and comments if you enjoyed and see you tomorrow.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well then....
> 
> It's almost over...

“Ten seconds” Spock said, looking through the scanners, his back tense. James looked from him to the doctor, who was pacing around, rehearsing his little show. “Three. Two. One”

James looked through the front visor just to see a wide ship stopping in front of theirs. He frowned, standing up from the captain’s chair and looking closer. That wasn’t the enterprise. Spock and Bones looked at the ship as well and Spock raised his eyebrow.

“Put us in contact” James said fast, and Spock nodded, doing exactly that. When it was ready, he nodded to the captain, who sat down on the chair. “Sybok. What are you doing here?”

“Captain Kirk. I know this was not what we arranged, however the council said I had to bring you to them no matter what. And seeing that your ship doesn’t have any engine, weapon or shield, and that the Enterprise is merely hours behind me, you don’t have any choice but to come back here” the vulcan said, in clear urgency. James raised his eyebrow, and then rolled his eyes.

“Of course. Why would I even believe someone like you” he said, standing up. Before the other could say anything, he nodded. “Beam us up then. We have no chance inside this thing”

“I am glad you put up no resistance. Stand by” Sybok said, and the communications were cut off. Bones and Spock walked closer to him, waiting.

“I guess the plan went wrong then” Bones said, looking at Spock accusingly. The vulcan looked back at him, clearly angry.

“I can clearly recall that I was not the one that chose this ship, and therefor not the one that made the plan go wrong” he answered, bitterly, but James just rose his hands, shutting both of them up.

“No time for discussions, boys. The democrats are our best chance. We just have to wait and cooperate” he said, firmly, and the two looked at him surprised.

“Cooperate?” Bones repeated, the word sounding weird in his voice. “Are you saying that we...”

“Gentleman. We have nothing more with the Empire. We can’t fight two enemies at once. Our final objective is to be safe. If cooperating will bring us that safety, than that is what we shall do” he said, firmly, looking at the ship in front of them. “They are our only chance of surviving the Enterprise, if we even have that chance at all”

The two others turned back to face the ship, nodding slowly, agreeing. Their bitterness and stubbornness would lead them nowhere. If they had to survive, they needed to give up on a few things. Specially things that showed themselves no really important at the time.

They had a slim chance and they were taking it.

 

Sybok’s calculus had been extremely wrong, and that was certainly not good.

Less than half an hour after they got onboard the ship, the sensors started to catch another vessel. This time, there was no doubt about who it was. 

The red alert sounded through the hallways of the ship, alarming the three officers as they walked to the bridge. They walked faster, almost running, and standing next to Sybok as the ship jumped to warp speed.

“How fast are we going?” Jim asked as he stood next to Sybok. The vulcan looked at his navigator and then back to the captain.

“Warp four”

“That is not enough. The Enterprise has warp factor nine. They will catch up on us quickly”

“Captain, the engines are overheated. If I put us in warp six, or eight, this ship might explode” he answered, but before they could discuss it any further, the first officer turned to them.

“Captain. The ship is a minute away. They are trying to contact us” the humanoid said, and Sybok nodded, furrowing his eyebrows.

“Put it on screen”

“Yes sir”

Two seconds went by before Scott’s face appeared on screen, a vicious smirk on his face. Next to him stood Uhura, Sulu and Chekov, all of them seeming in a mix of annoyance and contentment.

“Captain Sybok. Captain Kirk. What a pleasant surprise” the engineer officer said, tilting his head and looking straight at them. Jim straightened up while Leonard and Spock stood behind him, quietly.

“I am sorry Enterprise, but you are violating our treaty” Sybok said, seriously. “Please surrender your vessel at the closest station possible. I have a job to do”

“I am terribly sorry, vulcan” Scott said, sarcastically “but you are not going anywhere with Kirk. He is a fugitive now and I will not rest until I have him on board of this ship as my prisoner”

“I cannot give him to you. He is under our protection” Sybok said, seriously, and the four people in front of them chuckled, with Sulu shaking his head.

“Well then. Say goodbye to your beautiful ship” Scott said, and the communication was cut off. And then, out of nowhere, an explosion sent them all flying forward, with both Spock and Leonard falling right over Jim.

“What was that?!” Sybok asked as he stood. His first officer ran and checked the instruments.

“S-sir... They hit one of our war reactors. We cannot enter warp speed” he said, desperately, and suddenly the Enterprise appeared in front of them. “They are arming torpedoes and phasers and locking them on us sir!”

“Shields up! Defensive maneuvers!” he said, loudly, and then turned to the three fugitives who had just stood up. “You three, find somewhere to hide. They cannot take you away”

The three nodded and rushed out of the bridge, looking around quietly.

“The sickbay is the most protected place in any ship” Spock said, firmly, and Leonard agreed, nodding, but Jim shook his head.

“Cargo bay” he said to the computer, and the two looked at him confused but decided against saying anything. The man clearly had a plan and who were they to doubt their captain.

Suddenly, the ship started trembling, shaking, and they held against the walls, looking around the small lifter. 

“Like this, the shield will only last a few minutes” Spock said, looking at Jim. “Are you sure about your plan, captain?”

“It is our only chance” he said, firmly, and closed his eyes at another shaking of the ship.

 

The world seemed to stop then, and James focused only on his breathing, seeing his entire life passing before his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooooo
> 
> Enterprise is on its way
> 
> Will they make it?
> 
> Will they flee?
> 
> Leave KUDOS and comments if you enjoyed and see ya tomorrow!


	23. Memories

Little James Kirk had only been eight when he was sent away for his first mission. Being the son of George Kirk had its advantages and disadvantages. Having a good life, with money and little bothering from the government was one of the good parts. Having to start training from an early age was one of the bad ones. 

So, at eight years old, he was sent to Tarsus V, where technically he was supposed to live in a small village with other boys and girls coming from different planets where they all could learn how to live without their parents and, a bit later on, their own.

And there, one of the first people he met was a young alien girl named Fhirg, called Fi by him because of his difficulty with languages. She knew English, thankfully, so the two of them started talking right away, and became friends really quickly. And at that point in his life, Jim was very naive, sweet, kind hearted. He had never seen anything bad happening, even though he had heard about it. It never bothered him however, because that was how thing worked. 

Evil people got what they deserved. That was the world.

In any case, he treated Fi very well, and she was sweet with him as well. They talked every day, played together, learned together, and soon they formed a bond.

The mission was supposed to last a few years, with them coming back home for vacation every three months in Tarsus. By the time they were eleven, they had to decide whom to live with, and they decided to be together.

And that was pretty much when Jim fell in love for the first time. 

For one year they did everything together. And slowly they fell in love, they started dating, and even though they were young and naive, they promised each other everything. And those were the happiest moments of Jim’s life until then.

But as he would later understand, nothing good came without a price, and a few days after he completed twelve years of age, the massacre began.

No one knew what was happening. At first, upon hearing that guards had killed a few people, Jim deduced they had been evil, done something wrong. But as more and more people were killed, he started to realize, in his young mind, that that wasn’t exactly what was happening. 

That was when he left the home he and Fi shared with her, and they ran somewhere empty, somewhere the guards didn’t usually come. There, they found a cave where they could hide, in a few mountains to the south of the village they lived in. And there they stayed for at least a week, but soon they were out of food. So both left, deciding to look around to see if they could find anything.

And maybe because he took too long or because she went somewhere wrong, Jim never found out, when he came back that day, he waited and she never came back. Two days were how long he waited before he tried to find her, walking through long roads back to the cities and villages. He was as careful as he could around guards, and no matter where he walked, there were piles of bodies, lakes of blood, and he couldn’t help but throw up at the first ones he saw.

But soon enough, his skin grew thick, and he used the blood and bodies to his advantage, pretending to be one of them when guards would come too close.

It took him three days, but he finally found her. 

There was Fi, dead, laying over a rock, surrounded by several other bodies, holding in her hand, over her chest, a necklace he had made and given to her in the year they met.

That day was the first time when he felt the amazing feeling of slicing a throat open, the first time he laughed at the sight of warm blood, the first time he watched the light leave someone’s eyes and few joy, pleasure, doing so. 

If she was dead, no one deserved to be alive.

 

After that, he was praised for his solution, his lack of empathy, his survival skills, his intelligence, and a reservation was made for whenever he wanted to join Starfleet. And he did, as soon as he could, just wanting to become a captain in his own ship and leave Earth once and for all, be as far away from the people that killed his first love as he could.

And that was when he met Bones, Spock and Carol.

While he was in the academy, he learned a lot. The most efficient way to kill, how to block his mind from attacks, how to defend himself from stronger enemies, how to deal with life threatening situations and how to endure the most different kinds of tortures.

Bones was the first he met. The man was his roommate in the academy, so they spent a lot of time together. He learned quite quickly that the man was one of the best doctors the academy had ever had, and that he hated space more than anything, even more than his ex wife, whom he only hadn’t killed because he couldn’t take care of his only daughter.

Jim found it ridiculous, an excuse for something that would bring much pleasure. Besides, a child wasn’t important at all. Children served only to continue their parent’s work, just like he was doing, and what Joanna would probably do when she grew up. Having emotional attachments to children was a big mistake to any official.

However, Jim couldn’t say he didn’t crave every night when he heard the doctor reading the letters the little girl wrote to him asking how he was. Jim knew Bones didn’t mean to read it out loud, but he did, and the youngest man always paid close attention to hose fond words. 

Words with nothing more than innocent and naive love, like he once had had.

When his chest started hurting, he turned away and made himself sleep, pretending not to listen the voice inside him telling him to stay awake a little longer.

 

Spock was the second he met. And he wasn’t pleased when he met him, at all.

The vulcan was the most annoying person he had ever met. He was the one that had designed the worst test that could exist in the academy, but Jim was sure he could do it with a little help from the main computers of the academy.

And so he did, cheating and changing the conditions of the test in his third try. He beat it and was praised for it, making the vulcan clearly mad at the results. For that reason and much others, he was the first captain to be able to choose his crew for his first mission, and so he did.

He chose Bones as his medical officer, because he was the best and he had heard what the man liked doing with enemies from the empire, and only to defy everything, he chose Spock as his first officer, just to humiliate the vulcan a little more, having to be his subordinate.

And in that said mission, he met Carol Marcus, daughter of an admiral.

 

At first, he slept with her because she clearly had a thing for him and he couldn’t waste the opportunity to get together with the daughter of an admiral and get a bit more power in the Empire. 

However, as the mission went on and they got closer and closer, feelings started to develop, and he knew it wasn’t good, but what could he do?

Slowly, he was falling in love with her, more than a decade after the woman he first loved had died. 

He stopped seeing everyone and focused on her, gave everything to her, treated her nice and promised that they would be together forever, as long as she wanted him to be with her.

Both Bones and Spock, after a while, realized that it wasn’t a good idea. Spock and he had become... friends, he supposed, after a few months into the mission, and that resulted in the three of them becoming what someone could call best friends. So they could put their opinions, even though Jim obviously just ignored them.

Quickly, he realized he shouldn’t.

When the mission was finishing, Carol told him her true intentions. She wanted someone powerful and intelligent to help her defeat the empire. And at that moment, he knew he had to kill her, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t because he had been compromised. 

So instead, he told Marcus, the admiral, and when they returned, she was taken away while he was put to different tests to prove that he wasn’t the one that had come up with the idea.

Bones and Spock had warned him, and that was when he realized the mistake he had done, falling in love with her. 

As he killed his brother, sister in law and nephew, he knew he wanted revenge. Revenge for what she had made him do. Revenge over Carol Marcus, before she could be sent away into exile. 

So, he asked Bones for a medicine against pregnancy, because she had told him already she was expecting. Before she told him she wanted out of the Empire. And he gave it to her as a present, a goodbye gift.

She left with a smile, and he stayed with a cold heart.

Then, he decided he wouldn’t love again.

 

When he got the Enterprise, he did it by the easiest way possible: killing the captain.

Christopher had been an amazing tutor, and a great captain, but Jim knew he could be better. So he killed him one night and rose up to captain of the Enterprise, the best ship in the fleet. He got Spock and Bones again, put them in, and in less than a month they were off to their five-year mission. 

And that was when he realized, after three years since Marcus, that those feelings were growing again. This time, not only for one person, but for two.

Soon enough, he was constantly watching Bones and Spock, making sure the two were well protected in missions, taking their place in a mission so they wouldn’t be in risk, and doing all of that in the pretense they were the ‘best officers in the fleet’.

Not a lie, but as the best captain in the fleet, he shouldn’t risk himself so much. 

It took him around three months to realize what he was doing. To see how his feelings were affecting his decisions again.

And that was when he decided to cut it out, using his old habit of sleeping with anyone his escape pod for when everything was too hard to deal with. Slowly, he created walls after walls for his own protection, and theirs. Being close to a captain was never good.

Obviously, however, that one day he craved, and as he drank way too much because of a failed mission that would surely cost him something, they offered something he couldn’t refuse.

He slept with them, he woke up next to them, and he hated himself for it. He left the bed with his heart pounding, hurting, and so relieved. He didn’t want that. He wanted constant nothing. He was peace, not whatever was happening.

So he decided, grabbing a dagger and walking to the bed. Two terrible deaths, but he couldn’t let himself be weak again. Not when he had so much in his way. So much glory. 

He tried, at least ten times, but no matter how much he did it, he couldn’t get the knife to touch their chests or throats.

He left them alone, and found some other room to sleep in.

 

The nights happened, and he could find himself falling more and more every day. He couldn’t bring himself to stop, in any way. He had tried everything, but nothing was enough. So, in their third year, he started to accept it, and used it to his advantage. The need to protect them made him act quicker, kill more, think faster. Things the Empire wanted and praised.

But of course that he was sure they did not feel the same. He was just a nice fuck, he was sure, until one of their missions in an unknown planet.

Both Spock and Bones had stayed in the ship, and Jim had beamed down with guards. Everything about the mission went wrong, and in the end, Jim was almost dying form internal bleeding somewhere with enough interference that they couldn’t beam him back up.

He had accepted his death, and was making his last wishes, when someone started to examine him, cure him, right there in the planet’s floor.

Bones and Spock were over him when he opened his eyes, both fixing what they could until Jim was good enough to be carried somewhere where they could be beamed up. It took them three hours to be able to return, and when they did, Jim passed out completely.

He woke up with Bones and Spock arguing, discussing Jim’s condition.

“Leonard, I know you are concerned about the captain’s ability to act as captain, however the empire made this request specifically for him” Spock said, and Bones rolled his eyes.

“I don’t give a crap about the empire’s request. You will be the captain until I say Jim is good enough to leave this place. He almost died!”

“I am aware of that, doctor. I was there as well” Spock said, firmly, and Bones sighed, shaking his head.

“He needs rest. I will tell you as soon as he is ready. Please, just let him be better. We can’t lose him for something so stupid” he said, in a soft voice, and Spock seemed to give up in his argument.

“Indeed. Take care of him, Leonard”

Jim then passed out again, but his heart was warm, knowing he would be taken care of by his officials, his friends and his lovers.

Lovers?

 

James opened his eyes again and stared forward, seeing Bones’ contained desperation and Spock’s hidden worry. That was when the lifter stopped, the ship still trembling.

“Cargo bay” 

The doors opened and they walked out, seeing several people running from a place to another. And then...

“Intruders onboard. Red alert. Intruders onboard. Red alert”

Several guards from the Enterprise beamed in the middle of the cargo bay, being stopped by a few other guards from the ship where they were standing.

The shields were off. They would be defeated soon.

There was only one thing they could do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... This is it
> 
> Two chapters to go.
> 
> This is my fav chapter, with the explanation to several of Jim's actions.
> 
> Leave KUDOS and comments if you enjoyed it and see you tomorrow!


	24. Chapter 24

“What is the plan?” Bones asked as the three of them stopped in an empty room. James locked the door and pulled them closer so he could talk quietly.

“We need to go to the last levels, where they had the escape pods. There we might be able to use the battle to get away from the scanners. It is out last chance. If we stay, we are dead” he said, looking around in the small room. “We could send a few pods as well to confound them.”

“That is the best idea we have” Spock agreed, looking at the door and raising his hand. They heard several steps in front of the door and soon there were only battle sounds again. “I think we can get out now”

“Good. We don’t have much time” James nodded, opening the door and looking around. Then, he walked forward in the hallway and froze, turning around again and pushing the other two. “Run!”

Suddenly, there were several shots all around them, and the three were running back from where they had come, a group of guards right behind them. They had no phasers on them, so they could only use the ship to defend themselves until they found something.

As they reached the exit of the hallway, there was another group coming, and they stopped, looking around quickly.

“There!” one of the guards yelled, and Bones started pushing the two of them to the side, where there was a hole.

“Bones!”

“We don’t have time!” he yelled back and the three of them fell into the hole. Spock fell first, on his stomach, growling deeply at the pain on his rib. James fell on top of him and Bones on top of the two.

“Shit. Sorry” James said, pushing Bones away and helping Spock up. They were alone now, in a dark hallway, completely dark. “Where the hell are we?”

“I would suppose we are in the auxiliary hallways. Probably close to the core of the ship” Spock said, holding his stomach and leaning against James. “Not close to any escape pod”

“I figured” James said, slowly, looking around and starting to walk while Bones helped Spock on the other side. “We need to find a way of getting up there again. Then we can continue”

“That place is infested with guards, Jim. There is no way we will be able to escape” Bones said, frowning deeply. “Maybe if we stay here, we have a chance”

“They will go through this ship ten thousand times if needed, and then they will blow us up. Hiding is not an option” James said, firmly, and walked through the hallways slowly, looking around carefully. “No, we have to try assonating every pod and escape in one of them. Luckily we can get out of their sight and they won’t know where we are”

“Have you thought we might get lost in outer space forever?” Bones considered, looking at James, but the man just stared angrily at him.

“I would rather die trying than giving up after everything you two did for me”

The silence then ruled, and Bones looked down while Spock stared at his captain, clearly contemplating what could be the last time they would see each other like that.

James wished he had that moment, to just stare and take in everything he could. But he was too worried with the plan of escape to try anything. To stop and breathe. There was only one objective: save the three of them.

Quicker than he thought, they found a ladder. Helping Spock, the three climbed it back to the cargo bay, weirdly finding the hallway empty and silent. James walked out first and pulled Spock before helping Bones out. He moved his finger over his mouth to tell them to stay quiet and walked forward, looking around. Several bodies dead, laid on the ground, both from the enterprise and the current ship. He found two phasers and grabbed them, giving one to Spock and keeping one for himself.

They were around ten meters from the pod chambers when they heard a phaser going off. They only had time to turn before it hit Spock’s side, making him lose his balance and lean against Bones. James turned quickly, shooting whoever was there, and only finding one man that quickly fell, dead. 

And then he turned around again, seeing a group approaching from the other side of the hallway. He groaned in anger and nodded for Bones, both carrying Spock away from the line of fire behind a turn and starting to shoot the group with their phasers. 

Luckily, they were able to take all of them out without any major injuries, but they could hear steps coming from the hallway behind them. So, the two grabbed Spock as quickly as they could and took him to the pod chamber. 

“Jim...” Spock muttered, clearly in pain. “These pods can only be activated from a panel in the other side of the room. I read about it... Last time we were here.”

“Shit! Well then. You and Bones get inside and I will activate them” he said, and Bones nodded even though Spock complained. They found a suitable pod that was a straight line from the panel where James would have to activate the pods, so he could get there faster. Bones laid Spock down over his lap, the pod big enough for five, and started to take care of him as James ran back to the panel.

Once there, he heard the steps again. They were getting closer. The battle had finally stopped, since he couldn’t hear any shots anymore. Everything was silent but from the steps. The Enterprise had won. He would have been proud if this wasn’t his own fault.

A click on the panel was enough to make him panic. Password. There was a password needed. He had no time for that. He bit his lip, turning back and trying to hack into the program. The steps got louder as he changed the codes and tried to either find the password or take off the need for one. The numbers and letters in front of him appeared like seconds ticking on a clock, the steps louder and faster at every moment he wasted missing something important. He was sweating, his hands were trembling, nothing was helping, and from the top of his eyes he could see Spock trying to stand and help while Bones worriedly took care of him, knowing that if Spock left he wouldn’t be able to come back inside.

Suddenly, the steps walked pass him, and did not enter. James froze, but then furrowed his eyebrows and continued working. The steps had disappeared. That was when he was able to enter the system. There it was. The options ‘sudden launch’ or ‘timed launch’ was in front of him, and he smiled, feeling relieved that he had been able to do it.

And then he looked up and saw the guards slowly making their way through a door right next to where Spock and Bones were. 

The two had heard the soft sounds of the guards and were staring at him with wide eyes, completely frozen in spot, not knowing what to do. The group had at least ten guards, there was no way they could fight them if they were spotted and there was no way James could just run and get inside in less time than they could find out they were there.

He looked down at the panel one last time and then up again at the two of them, their eyes interlocking, and the world froze, time stopped, and suddenly they were alone, just the three of them, in a world completely alien to all of them and yet very familiar, where nothing else mattered. 

His lips formed the words before his brain could even think of them.

‘I love you’

A touch on the pad.

“Closing doors. Sudden launch activated”

The pod’s door closed, and they were sent away.

And James fell on his knees as he watched in slow motion the small ships being released, at the same time, while the guards froze in place, confused, and turned to find him there, kneeling down, eyes fixed where Spock and Bones had been for the last time.

James Tiberius Kirk had never cried before, but at that moment, his heart felt more relieved than ever, and the tears that fell were tears of joy.

He closed his eyes and let out a quiet sob, a smile curling up on his face.

“I love you...”

And he did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry...
> 
> Leave KUDOS and comments if you enjoyed and see you tomorrow for the bittersweet ending.


	25. In Another Universe

“Jim. You look thoughtful. What’s going through your mind?” Bones asked as he sat down, the doctor, first officer and captain united in the latter’s quarters for a relaxing evening. Jim hummed as he looked through the screen that imitated the universe outside the ship, while Spock sat down on the captain’s other side.

“You know... I am just wondering... About that other universe we met, some months ago” he said, sipping on his drink. 

“The mirror universe, captain?” Spock asked, raising his eyebrow. “What are your wonders about them?”

“Well... When we first got there, Bones and I were scared as hell of you. However, even there, your alternative universe showed some signs that maybe things weren’t so different at all” Jim said, looking down at his glass of brandy. “I wonder if they are happy. If they are alright, there where they live”

“Jim. That was a hellhole. It is very unlikely that someone there can be happy. At all” Bones said, but Jim just shook his head, sighing and looking back up at the stars in front of them.

“I don’t know... I just have a feeling that... They could be happy together. Like we are, you know?” he said, smiling to Bones and sighing right after. “I want them to be happy. Even if they are evil. And I have a terrible feeling that something went extremely wrong today, in there. Something that was able to make me feel something right here, when I woke up this morning”

“Well captain, it is possible that a strong wave of feelings can go through time and space, but it is unlikely” Spock said, firmly, and Jim nodded, sighing once again.

“I know. I just...” he said, standing up and walking to the screen, staring at those beautiful stars. “Never mind. Whatever happened is their business to resolve, not mine. I am very happy here, with you two” he finished, smiling as he turned around. “What about another game of chess?”

“Most in order, captain”

“I would love to see you win over Spock again!”

“Very illogical, Leonard”

“It is fun to see how mad you get”

Jim smiled as the two argued by the couch, before a more melancholic smile came to his mouth as he turned to the stars again.

What he couldn’t explain for Bones and Spock was that he did not feel something related to himself. As he watched the stars, it was almost like two lonely souls screamed for him, asking for him, pleading for him to return.

Where, how, he did not know. 

But he did know that wherever those two voices were, they were alone, sad, and empty.

And he couldn’t fulfill their needs.

No matter how familiar they sounded.

As familiar as those two, behind him, bickering about chess.

He could only hope that somehow they could find their missing piece again, for he was not able to help.

Not now, and not ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAaaaaaaand its done
> 
> now you can hate me
> 
> and if there is anything I didn't explain, be sure to leave a comment and see you some other day!


	26. Add

Hey guys!

So I am adding this through my phone only to make you aware that I am interested in writing a sequel to this fanfic, which will be also a chaptered fanfic with a (hopefully) happy ending for our darling, three mirror babes.

So yeah this is just a quick informative, if you would be interested in a sequel please tell me in the comments, and also if you want me to contact you when I have finished and posted the first chapter! If you want to be notified, leave your tumblr down in the comments or email, because I am not sure if Ao3 has a message device.

Anyway thank you all so much for the support, and hopefully I will see you soon!


	27. Quick announcement!

So guys, this is just a little announcement I'm doing on my top fanfics, mostly because I want you guys' support in this new thing...

I have now made for myself a Patreon, a Ko-fi and a Paypal!

As a college student we all know how shitty ass poor we can be and honestly I just want to be able to continue writing the fanfics I love and keep focusing on my original work while not having to explain to my parents why I do so much and earn nothing. 

Of course, I wouldn’t be that kind of person, specially because all I do is write, but if you ever feel like you want something special that you can’t really request anyone else, and you want to help me get some money out of it, feel free to give me some of the greens!

In any case, thank you for all that have supported me here and in my other medias and blogs. You are all super nice and I love you all a bunch.

The links are: 

[https://www.patreon.com/crischriscriss](https://www.patreon.com/crischriscriss?alert=2)

<https://ko-fi.com/crischriscriss>

I hope you all can understand this little chapter thing but it would really help me a lot, to have your support! You can send me requests and whatnot, or just support me because you enjoy my work! In any case, thank you so much if you read this, and consider leaving me a nice note over there!


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